Stress of Impending Deadline Leads to Digressive Blog Entry

Uggggg....I am the worst research assistant ever. My head is just not in the game. The game is going on all around me, and I'm...I'm...I'm just hanging on the sidelines reading a trashy romance novel. No, I'm not on the sidelines, I'm in the bleachers. No, I'm not even in the ballpark, I'm stuck in traffic, about 15 minutes away, listening to the thing on the radio and picking at my fingernail polish. Yes. No. Ugh. Last week, the prof I work for gave me a 75-page article that he had just completed. I have to have the article edited, check the authorities, etc. by Sunday. I have finally finished reading the whole thing, after three sittings, which took about a week. That was just the first pass-through. I guess I'll spend the afternoon checking all *gulp* 500 citations, hopefully before I go to work at 5 p.m. I have to work Sat and Sun night, too...I guess I better kick it into high gear. Why such a procrastinator? I'm the worst. At least my office has been pleasant the last few days. About 68-70 degrees and a light breeze. The neighbor kid likes to come outside for a little while each day to play golf with rocks, but he hasn't been out today. Actually, it's been downright quiet. Maybe his mom did kill him, after all. Unfortunately, every time I see her, she's yelling at the poor kid. Sure, he shouldn't be outside in his slippers, nor should he be beaning rocks at the garage with a golf club, but she doesn't need to treat him like that. The Unemployed Ladies suggested I give him a welcome-to-the-neighborhood gift. One of those little atari joysticks with the games built right in or something. I think the suggestion was, hey kid, trade me your guns for this video game...now go inside and play it, all the time. Shhhhhh. A suitable welcome gift for the mother, they suggested, might be, well, a pie laced with arsenic? I digress. I think the funny thing about the research assistantship is that every time I stop by school (which is not often), I run into other classmates who are working for professors. Invariably they complain about how much work it is...e.g. supposed to be a 20-hour per week commitment, but they're working 30 or 40. What? Why? Because, they say, I want to do a good job. Well, sure, I want to do a good job, too, and I'll do a good job within the requisite amount of hours, which I will put in (right before it's due...), but really, does anyone win when you're working all these secret unpaid hours? And where will it stop? When you get a legal job, are you going to work way more hours than you bill, etc.? Maybe I'm just being jealous that they are a whole lot more driven than I am right now. And I'm probably just lucky that my prof is really laid-back. Well, whatever. I'm going to get back to work.

Unemployed Ladies of Leisure End up Making Day of It

I hosted the bi-weekly Unemployed Ladies Society Luncheon today on the patio with Jessica, Rita, and LA. Summra came as a special guest representative from the working classes, which nearly led to a meltdown of the Unemployed Ladies Society altogether...LA was up in arms, Rita and Jessica were calling foul, and finally we were able to calm everyone by explaining that Summra's job is only a summer position. And then Summra outed me and exposed that I actually have two jobs. NO! I swear, they're not real jobs. Anyhoo, Jessica brought a delicious quiche, LA some tasty veggies and spinach dip, and I made a salad, and several bottles of wine were consumed. Finally, at, oh....6:30 p.m., after we had polished off yet another bottle of wine, Jessica decided maybe she ought to use her tickets to the Kings of Leon show at First Ave. She'd been planning to go with JoLynn, who suddenly got sick with Strep, so she had an extra ticket. Would I like to go? Duh. So we went to the show, and toward the end of the opening act, Jessica realized her wallet was missing. We searched all over for it, and, assuming it was stolen, left the show. She went home to cancel her credit cards, and I called Shad--we had a BBQ to go to tonight--Jessica and I were planning to meet Shad at the BBQ after the show, but rather than lose my ride out there (Minnetonka?), I decided to just skip the show and go out early with him. So, no Kings of Leon for me, and instead, BBQ and beer with fun artist designer-types. I was delighted when I checked Jessica's blog after returning home and discovered that First Ave actually found her wallet. That is tripped out. Sweet.

Reader Seeks Advice on Whether to Chuck Apparently Lame Book

Over the last few years, I've been going to this list whenever I'm looking for a good book to read. I'm a big fan of Vintage Books--I've made a significant dent in their reading list and am usually pleased with the recommendations. Anyhoo, that's how I ended up with The Road from Coorain, by Jill Ker Conway. I'm at page 10, and ready to gag. I usually choke my way through a book if I think I'll end up liking it, or at least learning from it, but I'm suddenly feeling very stingy with my time and am quick to chuck a disappointing book. Sooooo....has anyone read it? Should I stick it out? While I wait for suggestions, I am going to start reading The Swallows of Kabul, by Yasmina Khadra. It's set in Afghanistan...maybe a good follow-up to Kite Runner, and a nice little quote on the back jacket from Azar Nafisi (author of a great book, Reading Lolita in Tehran).

Student Dreams of Becoming Concert Violinist

Yesterday I was walking down Nicollet Mall and passed a street musician, a violinist, who was playing the song I played for my recital senior year of high school. I think it was Allegro, by...Bach? It was one of those songs where the notes were so small I had to blow the music up 150% to practice it. As I continued walking the half mile to my car, I began to feel nostalgic for those days, and was trying to think of every recital piece I had ever played. I could only think of my first one (Puff, the Magic Dragon) and my last one (above). I can't remember my piano recital pieces, either, except one year I did Fur Elise. I only took three years of piano lessons and was never very good. But I took many years of violin lessons and now of course I wish I had my violin again...but when will I play it? I bought an old grand piano a year ago and sit down to play it about once a month. I never played in college, even though, as Angela can attest, I had a whole musical instrument collection stashed under my bed. I had the instruments I could play (violin & trumpet), what I thought I could play (guitar & harmonica), and what I thought I could pick up quickly with just a little practice and, you know, probably master by the end of the year (mandolin & banjo). Angela and I climbed to the top of Fergusson Hall with the violin and banjo and serenaded passersby. It was hilarious, I'm sure people thought we were just drunk. Anyway, after moving the instruments from place to place, and never playing them, I decided to just park them at mom & dad's house. After thinking about these things and feeling all nostalgic, I arrived home last night and announced to Shad that I was going to join my school's orchestra. He just smiled.

So of course this leads to a sort of sadness. Were all those years of lessons just wasted? It turns out that many people have had some sort of musical lessons in their life, but to no great end. The instrument gets stuck under a bed somewhere, if they still have it at all. We had a dinner party a few months ago, and by the end of the night we'd all had plenty to drink and decided that everyone needed to perform the one piano piece they could play. Everyone has the one piece, right? Even if it's chopsticks? It was a fun little recital, and since everyone was drunk, those who normally played well were pretty bad, and those who couldn't really play didn't sound so bad at all. It was like that Kurt Vonnegut story where everyone needed to be equal so the ballerina had to dance with a weight tied around herself, etc. Well, okay, it wasn't really like that at all.

I just got a voicemail message from one my high school buddies who I haven't talked to in about seven years. We used to hang out all the time back then. He said he was just thinking about me and wanted to see what was going on. Well, that's neat. I guess I'll call him back now...

Juice Prepares for Summer Camp

I've been working my way through a binder full of classic essays and other writings for the "Great Books Seminar" I'm attending in August. The seminar is held at a fancy conference center out of town. We will be discussing works by the world's great writers and thinkers--Aristotle, Martin Luther King Jr., Drucker, Virginia Woolf, Plato, Mill, Machiavelli, etc.

We only have to read excerpts from these writings, but I do have a binder of nearly 500 pages to get through before I go. We have sessions all day every day, intersprersed with group lunches and dinners. I'm super psyched about going. My mind is swimming with this reading and I am glad to have the opportunity to discuss them. Even though I'll be in class basically from 8:15 a.m. to 9:15 p.m. all week (It's a 3-credit class) with just a few breaks in between, I think it will be fun....kind of like summer camp.

Twin Citians Endure Mosquitos for Sake of Enjoying Outdoor Movies

Why didn't anyone tell me Loring Park had already started their summer movies ??? I thought they didn't start until August. I just decided to check on the summer's lineup, only to discover they've been going on for two weeks already. And I was so preoccupied with sitting on my patio that I had completely forgotten about the nightly concerts at Lake Harriet or any of the other fun stuff sponsored by the Minnesota Park Board. If I may whine again...why is summer so short?

Ugly Juice Accepting Applications for Apprentice

This is the perfect career opportunity for the aspiring law student! This unpaid internship will allow you to gain first-hand experience in the many intricate details of attaining a law degree.

Ugly Juice is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate based on age, race, gender, or legal authorization to work in the United States.

Job duties include, but are not limited to: filling out and mailing paperwork for student loans, health insurance reimbursements, rebates, and other miscellaneous contracts and applications; ironing and picking cat hair off clothing particularly business suits; polishing shoes; plucking eyebrows; packing nutritious gourmet lunches and dinners for take-out; delivering coffee to law school library at appointed times; watering flowers; making beds; filling car with gas; warming car up in morning; checking car after I park it to make sure I didn't leave the lights on; running to school to pick up and deliver WestLaw printouts to patio office; rubbing my tummy (it just feels nice, OK?); driving me home from the library late at night; washing my hair; mailing birthday and holiday cards to friends and relatives in timely manner; checking email and voicemail messages; mowing lawn; paying bills; grocery shopping; foot rubs; drawing warm bubbly baths; throwing towels in the dryer and having them ready all fluffy and warm when I get out of the bath or shower; putting new mp3s on iTunes; 3-hole punching and stapling papers and other miscellaneous projects; researching publications of professors to discover hidden interests and possible essay questions; mailing Netflix; returning books to library and dealing with library goon-squad when they come to collect late fees; feeding cats; changing kitty litter; sorting and taking out recycling; charging phone battery; and painting toenails. (Not yours, silly. Mine.) Occasional cite-checking, editing, and proofreading.

Of course, you will not receive actual monetary compensation for this work, because you are PAYING YOUR DUES. This is an essential part of your career path if you ever hope to be a fancy lawyer in a big firm or judicial clerk. Plus, if you do a good job, maybe I will hire you as a clerk in the future and pay you some pittance that you will be ever so grateful to receive.

Please submit resume directly to Ugly Juice.

Utopian Patio-Sitting Days Threatened by Noisy Neighbors

Yesterday, I gave up my patio-sitting because new neighbors were moving in two houses down. They were blasting hip-hop music from their car stereo. I couldn't take it; I moved inside.

It's been quiet this morning, but a moment ago a car pulled up to the house and laid on the horn. The honking continued for awhile. Who are these people???

To make matters worse, my lovely vine seems to be losing life by the minute. It hates its new pot. It used to be so huge and extravagant. Now it's all scrunched up and the leaves are getting brown. It was so young and full of life. *snifff* Like Eva Peron.

Vacationing Student Looks at Calendar, Starts Freakin'

I have to go back to school in about a month! I don't want to go back! Summer was too short! No fair!

Victims Found in Aftermath of Storm

The storm dealt a brutal blow to my patio/garden get-up. The victim I am most sad about is my favorite a plant, a crazy and prosperous hanging vine with pink trumpet-like flowers. It used to sit on top of an old ladder-thing, but the wind blew it off and the pot broke and dirt and vines were all over the place when I found it. The vine pieces were still clutching to everything around it and it was a mess. I re-potted her, and will give her lots of attention. I hope she survives. The other big victim was the Peeps garland. The rain washed off most of the color and sugar coating, but the Peeps themselves are eerily intact. They are laying around covered in ants and bees and other bugs. Even the mass of bugs on the peeps doesn't seem to be breaking down whatever matter they are made of. It's kind of like those decomposing corpse studies they do down in Tennessee. Gross. I'll have to clean those up pronto.

Also, I've been sick for almost two days now. Belly-ache and stuff. Grrrroooooossssss.

Blogger Joins Mother-in-Law's Team

I'm from Hufflepuff!

Hogwart's Sorting Hat Quiz

made by The Genki Gang

"You like to boogie! You love your friends, who you value above all things, and you know how to have fun like no one's business… which is a good thing too, because despite all your hard work, you're not good at much else!"

I don't like this quiz result at all. I am good at other things. I don't even know who Hufflepuff is. And that graphic up there is missing an apostrophe. I hate this quiz. Jeeze. But my mother-in-law is a Hufflepuff, too; I guess that's cool.

Ugly Juice Prepares Defense Based on Negligence Theory

Last night's party was super fun. The party was a shower of sorts for Steve and Leigh Anne, but it was not so much a shower as it was just a big ol' party--we called it a celebration of fertility. Julie helped me out with the food by bringing over delicious little gourmet pita pizzas and the best deviled eggs ever--pesto flavored with basil and pine nuts. We drank gimlets and a little cocktail I call "The Bees Knees," made with pink grapefruit juice, pineapple juice, honey, gin, and lime.

This morning I drove Zander and Julie to the airport, which was a great excuse to collect evidence for the upcoming case of Mean-Spirited Cop v. Ugly Juice. I drove around the loop twice while Julie leaned out the window with the camera clicking photos of the side of the road that is so overrun with plant foilage that the reasonably prudent driver can't see the speed limit signs. Right?

Late Morning Storm Tests Endurance of Peeps Garland

I LOVE STORMS! It is storming like crazy outside and the rain is pouring down. I was taking a little nap on the patio when the first drops came down and within minutes I was drenched. This is the first big storm since I've had my patio/garden situation set up, and I have to say, it dampens my enjoyment of the storm somewhat. The first gust of wind blew over a vase and broke it, and I didn't save the lights that I had hung in the trees for the party last night, so I sure hope they're not ruined. For sure the Peeps garland I strung up over the patio is going to be ruined. Well maybe not. It will be good to test the Peeps' tolerance to the elements. Speaking of which, a Peeps purse may be on the horizon. Stay tuned.

Lawyers Debunk Blue Suit Theory

Yesterday I met lawyer friends Scott and Beth for lunch at Bombay Bistro. They bought me lunch and gave me some advice on interviewing with big firms this fall. They both work at big firms downtown and conduct interviews, so of course I just ate up everything they had to say. Beth even offered to set up a mock interview for me to practice with some of her co-workers. Awesome. Those guys are great. Oh, best of all, they debunked the blue suit theory. Boring, they said. Nobody cares. Who wants to see a bunch of people all wearing blue suits?

They told me that this coming semester is the hardest of my whole law school career. Gulp. I've got a brutal line-up. Family Law Clinic is supposed to take up about 20 hours per week, and Law Review will be another 20 hours. I may also be continuing my research assistantship with the prof. And then of course there are the regular classes. I figure I've got 168 hours to fill each week--that is, if I never sleep--so I'm sure I'll be just fine. Right?

It will be hard to leave my patio when school starts. Have I mentioned lately how sweet my home office is? I bring my laptop out to the patio (we have wireless internet) and from there I do research for the prof I work for, and my volunteer stuff, and my summer school homework. From my patio, I can print up Westlaw cases on the school printer via the amazing "Internet." Then I pick it up later, or have a friend at school get it for me and put it in my folder. I wish I could hire some kid to run to school and deliver my printouts for me, then I'd really have it made.

Paparazzi Reveals Recycling Queen's Deranged Persona

Ugly Juice Crowned Recycling Queen or Whatever

At the party, I actually won the contest for best outfit made of recycled materials! How funny is that? I was given a crown and a title, which I've forgotten. I mean to find out my title because I am now reigning whatever it was, and I need to come back next year to crown the next winner. Also, I'm going to put it on my resume.

When I was awarded my crown and robe, they asked me to say a few words. I took the opportunity to let the audience know that they can call the phone company and request that books not be delivered, and provided other information about how to properly recycle them. I feel like the phone book issue has come full circle.

Oh, the best part of the whole thing was when a woman approached me to compliment my dress. She admired the components and checked out how it was put together, then asked me if I was a student. I told her I was. She said that she just knew I had to be a student, and she wished more schools would encourage the use of recycled materials in their projects, etc. etc. I realized she thought I was a design student. She asked where I went to school, and I revealed that I'm actually a law student. Environmental law, at least? Um, no...not really, no. Not at all.

But now that you mention it, the recycling situation (or lack thereof) in the legal profession generally drives me nuts. That is, what I've found in my own limited experience. I was finally successful in getting paper recycling in my old office, and not a day went by that I wasn't fishing someone's coffee cup or lunch wrapper out of it. At school, people throw away their plastic soda bottles in the garbage right next to the recycling can. And most of all, people in the legal field generate huge amounts of paper waste. While the average office worker generates 10,000 sheets of paper waste per year, I would wager a guess that the average legal professional (particualarly law students who can print stuff up for free on Westlaw) wastes at least five times that. If you've followed my rant thus far, let me suggest some solutions. First of all, many printers and copiers have two-sided printing available. Plus, you can set your printer to print your document with two or four sheets per page. Just go to your printing preferences and adjust accordingly. By printing a document two-sided and four-up, I could turn a 40-page brief into a 5 page document. It's a lot easier to look over that way, too. I would also suggest supporting Kinko's, which is actually a green business. All of their paper is, at a minimum, made of 30% post-consumer waste.

The environmental law society at my school is talking about creating a "Wall of Shame" next year. Students caught failing to recycle their bottles, paper, etc., will find their names on the wall. I love the idea.



Jessica's dress is made of astroturf left over from their porch and vintage fabric. Jo Lynn, an editor, made her dress of VHS tape.

Phone Book Dress Proceeding Swimmingly; Woman Gets High from Multi-Purpose Cement

Since I couldn't tear myself away from a book (Kite Runner) yesterday, I didn't begin the phone book dress project until today. I was so excited to work on it that I actually got up at 6:30 a.m., way before my alarm went off. So far I have completed a hairpiece, wrist corsage, the shoes, and a good portion of the bodice. I wanted to admire my shoes while I worked on the dress, so I brought them upstairs with me to dry. They are covered in a super-strong-smelling modeling glue. I found myself getting really happy and light-headed as I worked on the dress, so decided I should remove them to the backyard for now.

Jo Lynn completed her VHS tape dress yesterday, and reports that it looks "pretty damn hot."

Spouse Shakes Head When Viewing Nerdy Photos from San Diego Comic-Con

Did anyone think I was kidding when I said Shad was at a geek-fest?

Seamstress Escapes Heat by Moving Machine to Kitchen Table

I came upstairs to sew a little table runner for a patio table today and the sweat was dripping down every inch of my body within ten seconds. Then I came up with the simplest solution ever, I was a complete bonehead not to think of it before. The sewing machine will be relocated to the kitchen table for the next few days while I complete what I believe will be a phone book dress. A couple of friends are already on board for the Wearables show. I can't wait!

Wannabe Recyclables Fashionista Seeks Advice on Outfit for Wearables Party

My mystery internet friend Sarah told me about the First Annual Wearables Party, sponsored by Recyclaholics. I immediately began obsessing about what to wear, but I could use some input. The rules state that everyone must wear "a recycled item." There will be recycled fashion police at the door. Does this mean that I can get by with just wearing a recycled skirt or a purse? I don't know. I of course will strive to wear an outfit that is fully comprised of recyled materials. My first idea was an outfit made of plastic shopping bags, which are really easy to work with, but, I think, fairly pedestrian as recycled products go. Also, not very breathable. My second idea is to create a dress out of all the extra peeps my in-laws sent to me after Easter. I'm most excited about that idea, but my concern is that they are primary materials, not recycled, because they've never been used before. Maybe I should chew them up first, or stick little bits of Easter grass to them, to make them appear to be left over from Easter? This would seem to go against the spirit of the thing. I'm trying to think of other junk that has accumulated recently, like all those little black plastic containers plants come in. Or the little plastic toys and game pieces (dominoes, scrabble, chess, etc.) I've collected from garage sales the past few months. And I picked up a bunch of old records on the side of the road recently. Or, maybe a phone book dress to match the phone book purse. Seems like a good time to finish the tie-suit, but it would be too hot. I thought it might be fun and ironic to make a skanky dress out of recycled meat packaging, but gross, who wants to wear that. I'd probably get attacked by a dog.

Anyhoo, If you have any ideas, however wacky, let me know. In fact, the wackier the better. I'm up for a challenge. I'll be working on the thing Monday and Tuesday, and with any luck at all, will come up with a fascinating object of haute couture that is totally over-the-top.

The other dilemma is which purse to bring. I've been using the phone book purse lately, so that would be easiest. I recently broke the zipper on my towel purse, but it could be fixed. Or, the bag-bag? Of course, I could make a new one...

By the way, my email is still on the fritz. Sorry if any of you are trying to get in touch with me.

"Wet Hot American Summer" Playing at Uptown Next Week

If you've never seen "Wet Hot American Summer," now is your chance. It's one of the funniest and silliest movies ever. It's the midnight movie at the Uptown theater next Saturday, July 23rd.

Sewing Studio Out of Commission Due to Suffocating Heat Wave

I've been seeing so many cute summer skirts lately & I'm dying to sew a few of my own. But my sewing studio is the only area of the house that isn't air-conditioned and it's like a hundred flippin' degrees up there. I can't take it. Arrrrggghh.

My email has been down most of the day. You know I'm addicted to email. I get the shakes when I can't check it. I should just go to bed.

Also, this is my most boring blog post ever. Sorry.

Law Student Fears Future of Stuffiness

Every now and then I meet someone who I know will be a positive influence in my life, and I know I need to just grab on and not let go. This is how I feel about Greg, the guy I volunteer for. First, let's face it. A lot of lawyers are just stuffy. Why? Greg is not. He's smart and funny and cool. Sure, I know there are other non-stuffy lawyers out there. The lawyers I used to work for were not stuffy, and I loved them. Also, Sarah is not stuffy. But this fear of impending stuffiness drives me to work at getting good grades. With good grades, I can gain some credibility so that I can wear my pink suit (or my tie suit) and pig-tails to work and launch a stuffy lawyer revolution. Greg runs a great little tenant advocacy non-profit in my neighborhood and volunteering for him has been fun. I look to him for mentorship and advice and am indebted to him most of all for convincing me to quit my job. How else would I have discovered the delightful new sport of Patio-sitting? Anyhoo, I went to the farmer's market to get fresh vegetables the other day to make a tuna nicoise salad. But how lame to go through all that work just for myself. So I invited Greg over for lunch on the patio, after all he works just a few blocks away. We needed to talk about a new volunteer thing I'm doing but of course spent the whole time talking about other things. It was a great lunch and time flew by.

I swear I could sit on that patio all day every day and be the happiest person in the world. I can't even remember how bleak and dark my life must have been without it. What did I do?

Parallel Parking Brings Joy to Minneapolis Woman

Lately, I've been thinking about simple everyday things that bring me joy. I'm not talking about the sissy stuff, like kitties and lilacs and waving to kids on school buses. I'm talking about the joy of parallel parking. I just love it. I admit that I am a predatory parker, stalking what some call "The Alpha Spot." There's just such an unmatchable thrill in squeezing perfectly into a tight little space. When I'm driving the Kia, I forget how much I love it, because there's no power steering. But the Subaru is an excellent tool for the parallel park. Perhaps after going to the U and living in Uptown I just had to convince myself that I really like it. But I do, I really do.

Today I had scored a super sweet parallel parking spot, and when I returned to my car, I saw that there were new cars in front and behind me super tight. I was so psyched. Unfortunately, the car in front had just parked, and the driver was still there. He offered to move so I could get out more easily. I quickly said, "Oh, don't worry about it, I can make it out." There was a brief exchange in which he insisted, and I, well, what could I say? Of course he was just being nice and also probably worried I'd bang up his car. Big bummer.

Another thing I love is sleeping outside. I wish I could do it every night. My family lives on a lake in northwestern MN, and I spent many, many summer nights sleeping in a hammock down by the lake (covered in mosquito spray and wrapped up like a mummy). One night the hammock broke (thunk. ouch.) and after that I slept on the trampoline. I love the still night air and the gentle lapping of the lake water. Man, it is the best.

In the spring of my freshman year I went to school in London. We were housed in a huge apartment suite in Kensington. We had a little balcony, and from there, I could climb onto the roof of the building, where I would sleep several nights a week. I pulled the cushions off the couches and hauled them up there to sleep on. Well, it was springtime in London, and it rained almost every night. Not crazy rain, though. Just a quick drizzle. I just let it rain on me. It wasn't so bad, and I would fall asleep and it would pass over in a few minutes. One night, though, it wasn't over in a few minutes. There was a huge rainstorm. I woke up at the first drizzles like I always did, then pulled a blanket over my head and slept through it. I woke up soaking wet. The cushions were ruined.

Shad won't let me to sleep outside here. Says it's too dangerous. I suppose he's right--our yard isn't fenced, we've experienced theft, and then of course there's the recent car fire. But since he's gone this weekend and I was lounging on my little patio sofa last night and was oh-so-comfortable, I decided I might just, um, take a midnight nap. Well, I quickly became aware of night noises in North Minneapolis. So different from the lapping of the lake or the night sky in London. Dogs were barking. There was a baby a few blocks away that wailed for about 15 minutes straight. The wailing didn't stop until I heard a gunshot. Or a car backfire? Or...a firecracker? The kid stopped screaming. Oh, my God, I thought, someone shot that kid. I wondered if it really was a gunshot, and waited for sirens, but there were none. The kid eventually started screaming again. I stayed out there for several other minutes thinking, ugghghhh, Shad would be pissed if something happened to me out here. Better pack up and get inside.

This brings me to a third source of joy. I love walking in the rain. Shad and I spent a summer in Europe, and I remember arriving in Krakow at night and during a huge storm. The trams weren't running because of the storm, and the rain was pouring down. We didn't have reservations anywhere and we just walked and walked and walked. We were soaking wet. I love that memory, loved how that made me feel. Kind of rugged and adventurous and free.

Unemployed Ladies Society has 1992-ish Breakdown

I picked up Julie to meet the other two members of The Unemployed Ladies Society for lunch at the Russian Tea House. We were running about 20 minutes late, and when we got there, there was a sign on the door saying they were closed until the 19th. LA & Rita were nowhere to be found. AND they don't have cell phones, LA having just cancelled her plan. We knew we were pretty late--but how could we get ahold of them? Did they think we had just forgotten? It was so 1992. What do people do when they can't get in touch with their pals at the touch of a button? How did people work things out before cell phones? We taped a note to the door telling them to meet us at Pop, in Northeast. We went to LA's house to see if she was around. We also bought some time by browsing through Crafty Planet, where I picked up a super cute little crocheted hat. Finally, we drove down to Pop and shared a chilled strawberry soup and a steak sandwhich with chimichurri. I wonder where the other unemployed ladies ended up?

Minneapolis Woman Seeks Fresh Tarragon

Anyone have fresh tarragon in your garden that you can share with me? I need it for a recipe and God forbid I get it at the store.

Big Time Attic Launches Blog

Our buddies at BTA have caught the blogging bug. I'm sure the next few days will be full of lots of good stuff direct from the San Diego Comic-Con.

Good Mood Dampened by Mean-Spirited Traffic Cop

I got my first ever speeding ticket today. $131 for going 30 mph in a 15 mph zone at the drop-off area of the airport, which is the biggest pile of baloney ever. The 30 mph zone was clearly marked and I didn't see any signs that reduced the speed to 15. I'm going to contest it. This will be a fun chance for me to appear in court.

Hilariously, the cop was so into writing up the ticket so he could go catch another speeder that he failed to notice the tapped keg sitting in the back of the Subaru. It wasn't covered up or anything. I believe that would qualify as an open container.

(I was just returning it to the liquor store. I swear.)

Does anyone have any advice on this? Should I go with the "There wasn't a clearly marked sign" approach? Should I claim I had no idea how fast I was going, having not seen a sign, and that I was just following traffic? That's not a lie--I didn't know how fast I was going. Should I emphasize my clean driving record and argue that I believed I was going the speed limit, which I believed was 30 mph? (The, er, Mistake of Fact defense?) More importantly, should I wear my pink suit to court?

Law Journal Extends Invitation to ApostroNazi

I got on law review! I got on law review! I got on law review!

Easy Recipe Boon to Basil Growers

A secret weapon is my "Four Ingredient Cooking" book. Here's a great solution for using up some of that basil that is growing like gangbusters in your garden. It's tasty and takes less than 10 minutes to make. I made it for the BTA BBQ tonight.

Tomato, Bean, and Fried Basil Salad

1/2 cup fresh basil leaves
5 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
11 ounces cherry tomatoes, halved
14-ounce can mixed beans, drained and rinsed

1. Reserve a third of the basil leaves for garnish, then tear the remainder into pieces. Pour the olive oil into a small pan. Add the torn basil and heat gently for 1 minute, until the basil sizzles and begins to color.

2. Place the halved cherry tomatoes and beans in a bowl. Pour in the basil oil and add a little salt and plenty of freshly ground black pepper. Toss the ingredients together gently, cover, and marinate at room temperature for at least 30 minutes. Serve the salad sprinkled with the remaining basil leaves.

San Diego Comic Con Lures Comic Geeks out of Attic

The Big Time Attic gang is furiously working at preparing their gear for the San Diego Comic Con. This is the big comic convention of the year. It is huge and super fun, I wish I could go. Actually the fun part is not the Con itself, but all the dinners and drinks afterwards and just spending time in San Diego. Julie and I had a great time last year, we scouted out the best fish tacos (Esmerelda's), found groovy second-hand clothing stores, and lounged at the beach on Coronado island, reading books and drinking cocktails. We stopped in at the Con just long enough to pick out some funky t-shirts and matching underwear.

This afternoon, LA came over and we geeked out on the patio with the onions that I bought at the farmer's market this morning. I pulled out a white bean dip that was leftover from a few days ago and some of Summra's spicy cucumber dip. We probably polished off about 30 onions between the two of us. They were big bulbous green onions. YUM! I remember as a kid eating these onions fresh out of my grandma's garden dipped in vinegar. Such a treat.

After LA left, Julie, BTA, and I did some grilling and downed several bottles of wine as a send-off for the San Diego trip and to celebrate the completion of Bonesharps, Cowboys, and Thunderlizards. Was a fun and relaxing evening. They're leaving tomorrow for about six days. Honestly, I'm kinda looking forward to having the house mostly to myself.

Ugly Juice Gets all Proud of Self

Whee hoo! Got an email from the Dean of my school today, informing me I made the Dean's List this past semester. Sweet!

Lucky Duck Solicits Advice for Trip to Anchorage

So, on Friday my mother-in-law asked where we wanted to go. Saturday morning I woke up to find two messages in my in-box with E-Ticket confirmations for our trip to Anchorage! Needless to say, we are PSYCHED. We are leaving August 17 for about 6 days. Has anyone been there? Any tips on where to go and what to do? I hear that August is the perfect time to see the Northern Lights.

Woman Drinks too much Wine Before Posting Giddy-Happy Update to Blog

There's so much fun on the horizon I can hardly stand it. Let's start with tonight--had a BBQ at my house & it was great--fun people, delicious food, drinkity drinks, etc. I finished the patio furniture (will post photos soon) and felt oh-so-classy sitting on my new couch w/fluffy pillows with tiki torches lit etc. in my garden. Now I just want to have garden parties every single day and night. There are a few great parties coming up. I'm throwing a "Sisters Party" next Sunday--this is an idea I got from my friend Elissa. Her aunt has five sisters and has had an annual Sisters Party for about thirty years. Elissa brought me to the party this year and it was awesome--I met lots of neat people, who have been friends forever, some since kindergarden, and they are now in their sixties. So, since I have four sisters, I decided it's time to start a tradition of my own. Fun times. Another fun party on the horizon is a shower for LA & Steve two weeks from now.

I love not being in school. And I loooo-ve being unemployed. Er, mostly unemployed.

But the most fun ever is coming up in August. My mother-in-law just emailed to confirm the time of her visit (last two weeks of August), and she is taking us on a trip, anywhere in the U.S., our choice!!! We're thinking Anchorage. I'm soooooo excited!!!

North Minneapolis Woman Just Can't Stop Thinking About Tasty Food

It was a fun night! Summra hosted the monthly Craft Conspiracy meeting (we missed you, Sarah!) where she unraveled the mysteries of embroidery and we all made groovy little flower brooches. And, of course, we ate and drank lots of delicious food and beverages. Next month: Henna!

LA, Julie, and I have started The Unemployment Society. To join, of course, you must be unemployed, or mostly unemployed (i.e., not work full time/9-5). Our friend Rita lost her job last Thursday during the last meeting, which of course was a boon to our group. We do lunch at a new place every other Thursday--next week: Russian Tea House in St. Paul. Has anyone been there? We recruited a few more members tonight. In fact I find myself getting a bit predatory about trying to convince people to quit their jobs. Of course, The Unemployment Society is destined for failure. Julie will go back to teaching in the fall, I'll have to go back to school, and LA will give birth to that little baby that's growing in her belly. *Sigh*

I'm frantically trying to get my patio furniture done before the BBQ I'm hosting tomorrow night. My pals from Amnesty International are coming over--we're having a quick meeting and partying into the night. Keg, etc. People are responding to the Evite with the delicious food they're bringing--I can't wait! Spicy gazpacho, nopalitos, "Nacho Crack", Chicken tandoori...Yum!!! Oh, sure, we'll talk about torture and all that stuff...but did I mention "Nacho Crack"???

Art Teacher Saves Sloppy Crafter From Self

I spent another lovely day with Julie--we sat in her backyard working on mosaics. I love making stuff with Julie. Although she is the type of person who can throw anything together, she is an art teacher, after all, and she saves me from myself by not allowing my sloppy shortcuts. She insists that I lay everything out first before gluing it down one piece at a time. (Without her tutelage, of course, I would slather the mortar down and throw everything on all willy-nilly, it would dry up and get all gross). Before I left, she warned me to wait a whole day before grouting the table-top I just finished. Although she had already told me this, she somehow knew that I was going to try to grout it tonight anyway. Julie knows best, of course. I'll listen to her and grout tomorrow. I'll post a photo of the lovely table in the next day or so.

Blanketeers Bring Comfort to Needy Kids

My crafty pals and I are putting together a group quilt to donate to Project Linus. Project Linus is a great little nonprofit organization that distributes blankets to ill, traumatized, and otherwise needy children.

The theme of the quilt is "Candy." I hope it turns out to be some little kid's favorite blankie ever.

Researchers Discover Direct Correlation Between Amount of Dirt Under Fingernails and Happiness Level

I can't stop working in my yard. I've been out there every minute, sticking stuff in the ground. Zander warned me that I may be developing Cheryl Joyce Syndrome, an infectious and seemingly not-so-terrible disease named after his mother-in-law (Julie's mom), who is deliciously addicted to gardening and who has one of the most beautiful yards ever and luscious plants all over her house.

Anyhoo, after sweating out in the yard all day, I decided I should come in for a bit because I'm feeling short of breath. I may have forgotten to eat. I did stop for a while earlier, when LA stopped over with a delicious iced mocha and two towel-purse towels. We relaxed on the patio and she was gracious enough to allow me to show off all my plants.

Today's main project was the "Sinister Garden," which I lined with petrified wood and planted with Imperial Taro, ferns, and some other creepy and dark-looking plants. I also planted a bunch of shrubs and other flowers. When I go back out there, I'm going to plant some pansies in honor of my mother-in-law. She loves 'em. I tried them once before, but they died. I seem to be having good luck this year, so I'm going to try them again.

For First Time Since 1997, Ugly Juice Makes it Through Entire Day Without Checking Email

This morning, Summra and I went to Malmberg's nursery, where everything was 50% off. I LOADED up. I bought three hydrangeas, burning bush, cranberry bush, and tons of little flowers, vines, and other plants. The entire Subaru was filled with plants. We were a traveling jungle. Then we went up to Harris to pick up some upholstery fabric and foam, which amazingly we stuffed into the car as well.



By the way, the foam at SR Harris is super cheap, less than half the price of the foam warehouse. Also they don't give me a hard time at SR Harris if I admit I'm just going to "wing it."

The rest of the day was spent at Matt & Andrea's wonderful and beautiful wedding in St. Paul. Everything was classy and lovely, and we had a great time. The reception was at the Radisson on the riverfront, with prime viewing of the Taste of Minnesota fireworks at 10 p.m.

Car Fire Brings Excitement to Minneapolis Neighborhood

Phwew. Just when I thought I had run out of interesting things to blog about, something weird happened. A car was set on fire in the alley by our garage last night!!! The flames were huge--when Shad saw it, he thought our garage was on fire. (Turns out, only a small part of it was--facia boards and the edge of the roof.) The car has missing plates--stolen, probably. Who starts a car on fire? In a narrow alley? Weirdos. See, this is why I don't understand why people want to move to the suburbs. You don't get free entertainment like this out there. Fun times!