Researchers Discover Direct Correlation Between Amount of Dirt Under Fingernails and Happiness Level
I can't stop working in my yard. I've been out there every minute, sticking stuff in the ground. Zander warned me that I may be developing Cheryl Joyce Syndrome, an infectious and seemingly not-so-terrible disease named after his mother-in-law (Julie's mom), who is deliciously addicted to gardening and who has one of the most beautiful yards ever and luscious plants all over her house.
Anyhoo, after sweating out in the yard all day, I decided I should come in for a bit because I'm feeling short of breath. I may have forgotten to eat. I did stop for a while earlier, when LA stopped over with a delicious iced mocha and two towel-purse towels. We relaxed on the patio and she was gracious enough to allow me to show off all my plants.
Today's main project was the "Sinister Garden," which I lined with petrified wood and planted with Imperial Taro, ferns, and some other creepy and dark-looking plants. I also planted a bunch of shrubs and other flowers. When I go back out there, I'm going to plant some pansies in honor of my mother-in-law. She loves 'em. I tried them once before, but they died. I seem to be having good luck this year, so I'm going to try them again.
posted by Ugly Juice @ 7:26 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Ummm, you are planting pansies in the "sinister garden" because of me? Is the green face going there too? What next, the book "How to Murder Your Mother-in-Law" on the coffee table during my visit??
If I come bearing Ritter Sport chocolate, is all forgiven?
Now this comment isn't at all fair. For starters, the pansies are not in the sinister garden. They are in a little RC Cola crate all by themselves, where I can just carry them to wherever the sun is (as there is not much of it in the yard). And the green face is another garden entirely. Secondly, your criticism of "How to Murder Your Mother-in-Law" is premature, if you haven't read the book for yourself. It's a real page-turner, and the illustrations are top notch. Though I'll agree that it is not as informative as the handy do-it-yourself manual, "How to Slowly Poison Your In-Laws With Everyday Household Chemicals."
I have read the "How to Murder Your Mother-in-Law" book and left it on the coffee table once when Grandma Rose came to visit. (As Shad would say, "True Story.") And I was fascinated by the poisoning book. I'm sure the Chapter on OxiClean will come in handy (it removes in-laws, as well as spots. Who knew?) I loved the chapter on salt. Not only does it cause significant damage to father-in-laws with high blood-pressure, it kills slugs too!
Are you sure you wouldn't just like me to come bearing Ritter Sport chocolate?
Ugly Juice hereby agrees to accept Ritter Sport.
Whew....
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