Juice Inadvertently Inflicts Schizophrenia Upon Unborn Child

There are so many things you can worry about as a pregnant lady if you want to. There's the obvious, of course: I've stopped drinking, I only eat fish occasionally, I am down to about three cups of coffee a week, and I no longer eat raw hamburger straight out of the package. I even passed up the rides at the State Fair. And then there are what I think of as more tertiary concerns, like no lunch meat unless you heat it up, no gardening without gloves, no unpasteurized cheeses or juices, etc. I've called bullshit on the cheese rule, and I've all but given up on gardening, so that takes care of the glove thing, but I've been pretty good about the rest. Shad's main concern seems to be the toxoplasmosis. He apparently even frets about it in his sleep. Earlier today:

Ugly Juice: [Stumbling to bathroom in early morning, SCREAMS]

Shad: [suddenly awakened from dead sleep] What!? What?

Ugly Juice: Stepped in cat puke! Ew! Ew! [hopping around on one
foot] So disgusting! Ew! Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.

Shad: Don't touch it! You'll get toxoplasmosis! I will clean it up! Wash it off right away with soapy water! I said don't clean it up! You need to use soap and wash it really good!!!

Ugly Juice: [sticks foot under bathtub faucet, runs hot water]

Shad: [calling from bedroom] I heard that! You did not run the water long enough! You need to scrub with soap! Our son is going to have schizophrenia! [within like 10 seconds, snoring]

It takes me a few seconds to register my surroundings when I wake up. I am truly amazed by his ability to immediately snap to it and assess the potential danger of the situation (no matter how outrageous I think his concern actually is) when it is something I never would have thought about at all. I am not sure exactly what this bodes for the future, but I think it indicates one of these parents is likely to be a bit more protective than the other. (I say this lovingly, of course. I am glad someone is trying to shield our child from mental diseases.)

Parents Prepare to be Peed On

It's a boy!

Spouse Shows Shocking Signs of "Nesting"

Witness the exchange in the Ugly Juice household this week:

Ugly Juice: Do we have any plans for labor day weekend?

Spouse: I was thinking we could clean the attic.

UJ: Uhhh, I had something a little more exciting in mind.

Spouse: Clean the attic AND the basement?

UJ: [perplexed] I was thinking we should invite ourselves up to Amy's cabin.

Spouse: Ermmmmm... I would rather clean the attic. We need to get this place ready for baby.

UJ: [Chews lower lip, speechless]

This man appears to be the same man I married seven years ago. He looks and walks the same, he still makes me laugh til I cry, he still refuses to break down his cereal boxes. And yet I am reminded of the situation in this lovely book I am reading, Atmospheric Disturbances, by Rivka Galchen, in which a man comes home to find that his wife has disappeared, leaving behind a woman who looks, talks, and behaves exactly like her--or almost exactly like her--and even audaciously claims to be her. Everyone else is fooled by this imposter, but our hero knows better and embarks on a search for his disappeared wifey. I will be keeping a very close eye on this simulacrum (delightful new word I learned while reading aforementioned book) but I certainly won't complain about his enthusiasm for cleaning the attic.

Meanwhile, I have tallied up your votes on the baby gender poll. Thirty-one of you voted, 19 for girl, 12 for boy. Roughly 2:1 odds. Stay tuned for the results, posted tomorrow!

(p.s. I should reveal here that I personally have had boy feelings throughout the pregnancy, although a few weeks ago, Greta and I almost simultaneously had dreams that it was a girl. Which naturally made me superstitious. This was the only baby dream I've had.)

PUNY Gallery Show Tomorrow

Anyone looking for some Saturday evening entertainment should swing by First Amendment Gallery for PUNY's show. There will be art, there will be music, there will be fun.

Details here. And a sneak peek here.

Baby Daddy Gets Good Press

Finance & Commerce published two stories about PUNY today, check it out!

"Puny" in name only: Minneapolis animation firm hits the big time.
Technical innovations take time in the world of animation.