Pregnant Lady Assaults Woman Behind Bakery Counter

I have not been feeling awesome. The shingles seem to be gone--at least, the pain is gone, and the blisters are mostly gone. There are still some bumps. But my immune system is still really low, I've been exhausted, I'm fighting off viruses, my feet and legs are swollen, my back hurts, I have heartburn, and I can't sleep even though I'm incredibly fatigued. I don't mean to whine (though I will accept your pity if you'd like to offer it) -- I am merely illustrating my state of being yesterday, when the unspeakable occurred.

Having picked up some sort of virus over the weekend, I stayed home Monday and spent the day in bed. Around noon, baby began demanding an eclair. Shad was not available to deliver an eclair until after work, and I couldn't wait that long. So, as any devoted mother would do, I dragged my feverish self out of bed, bundled up, and drove down to the Wedge.

The Wedge bakery did not have eclairs.

No. Eclairs.

I stood at the counter looking like someone who'd just had her puppy run over. The lady asked if I'd like something else. Was she insane? NO, I DO NOT WANT SOMETHING ELSE SMUG HIPPIE LADY. ("I'm sorry your favorite puppy died, here, I bought you a new one.") I asked the lady to go look in the back. She looked in the back. There were no eclairs hidden on a secret shelf in the kitchen (if you can believe her). I asked if they were ever going to have eclairs ever again? Did they stop production? Were there not enough pregnant women in the city?! DO THEY UNDERSTAND THE RAMIFICATIONS OF THEIR FLIP DECISION NOT TO MAKE ECLAIRS TODAY?!?! She said she didn't think they had stopped making eclairs. You don't THINK so? GIVE ME SOME FACTS, LADY! Well, we had eclairs yesterday, she said. I felt my unborn child crying in my womb. I bought him a german chocolate cupcake, but he was not satisfied.

Is there another bakery in the city that makes eclairs? I cannot have this happen again. The only other places I've checked are Lunds and Wuollet, but they do not make them.