Volunteers Needed for Fake Trial

Are any of you looking for some cheap entertainment on Tuesday night? I need to line up two jurors for my trial advocacy class. You'll watch my classmates (not me, unfortunately) present a case and then you, as a member of the jury, will deliberate and decide who wins. Sounds super fun, right? I would totally do it if I wasn't busy putting on a trial of my own. I would need you Tuesday, December 5, from 4:30-10:30 p.m. Please email me if you'd like to volunteer! XOXO, Juice

Puts-Away-the-Clean-Clothes Fairy Absconds

Why is it that I can spend an hour folding the laundry (I let it build up, okay?) but then the ten minutes it would take to put the clothes away seems like the biggest chore in the world?

I love weekends. This one has been deece. Last night we watched Strangers With Candy on DVD. It was pretty bad, but amusing nonetheless. Today was a beautiful day. I went for a long walk, did some writing at the coffeeshop, got some crap done around the house, cooked a tasty dinner, drank some wine, etc. Am going to blow off whatever homework I have left and sew for the rest of the night. Am out of red wine so am drinking some of the white that has been hanging out in my fridge for several months. It's not so bad and was good with the pasta I made for dinner.

Some assholes threw a bunch of crap in the alley behind our garage and we got a letter from the city (AGAIN!) saying that we had to clean it up within a week. That is not fair. We can't throw this stuff in the trash (building materials--chunks of concrete, particle board, etc.). I'd like to say that I didn't go back there and throw it in the neighbor's yard. I really would. But the fact of the matter is that I'm certain they are the culprits and I didn't have anywhere else to put those chunks of concrete. The city is really hitting us hard. Just this week, in addition to the letter re: random chunks of concrete, we got a letter with a fine for $100 for "reinspection"--I have NO IDEA what that is for. Also we got a letter from a collection agency in Ramsey County asking for $50 for who knows what (unpaid parking ticket, perhaps? Neither Shad nor I know anything about it), and we received notice of an administrative hearing scheduled for early December on the retaining wall issue (we were fined $200 a few weeks ago for not putting up a new retaining wall EVEN THOUGH WE ALREADY HAVE ONE). I am trying not to feel like a victim, but wtf. WTF?!?! I guess I have a few calls to make this week. I am going to send the City of Minneapolis a bill for my time because I truly have better things to do. Like put away the clothes.

Am pleased to hear that Car seems to be getting along fine at reform school, I mean my parents' house in the country. I guess she got into a fight with the dog, but that is to be expected. I'm sure she won. I'm so proud of her.

I sure wish I wasn't addicted to WEBOGGLE.

Rogue Squirrel Gets High From Fermented Pumpkins

It was a lovely day. My former boss moved into this huge house in Maple Grove and invited us to his place for lunch. It was a great time. Holy crap, I had no idea there were so many houses tucked away out there. We always wondered who shopped at those creepy stores, Arbor Lakes and all that. Just for kicks, we stopped at one of the model homes as we were driving away from his place. I was filled with this strange blend of attraction and repulsion as we walked through it. How marvelous to have seventeen different sitting rooms to choose from when you decide to curl up with a book! Four entire families could live in the damn house at the same time and never run into each other. Creep-o-la.

When we returned home, we found a squirrel gnawing away at one of the pumpkins that has been rotting away on our front steps since Halloween. The squirrel was acting very strange. It tried to scale our front door and fell flat on its back. It did this several times. It rolled around lazily in front of our front door for awhile. We realized the sucker was high. Were the pumpkins fermented?



The squirrel entertained us for quite awhile. Then my mom and Greta showed up. We went to Arc's Value Village and had a magical time. We spent more than two hours there. It was pretty hilarious. We left with so much crap. Then Jucy Lucys and PBR at Sporty's, Greta's favorite haunt.

We sent Car home with mom. She's going to love it in the country.

Last night, joLynn and I had a great time at the Varsity theater, saw The Owls and Faux Jean. What a swell venue, I love it. The Owls were super fun to watch.

Minneapolis Couple Attempts to Give Away Precious Kitty

Would anyone like to adopt a beautiful, playful, and affectionate cat? You know mice are trying to get into your house this time of year, and she's a very good hunter. She has lots of character and is really cuddly!!!

If you want her, she's all yours. She's fixed and is up-to-date on shots. If you are interested, we'll deliver promptly.

Last night I dreamt I was working at The Gap with Princess 1.

Fall Fruits Make Tasty Salad

I've been trying out some new recipes this weekend. Nothing I'm very excited about, I'm afraid. But since pears and pomegranates are in season, I thought I'd pass on this little recipe. It's tasty & super easy.

Pear and Pomegranate Salad

1 pomegranate
6 green-skinned pears (2-1/2 lbs.)
3 Tablespoons lime juice
2 Tablespoons minced fresh tarragon

Cut pears into bite-sized pieces. Pry out pomegranate seeds. Toss everything together & refrigerate for at least 30 minutes to allow the flavors to marry.

(From the Mayo Clinic Williams-Sonoma Cookbook.)

Symposium Comes Off Swimmingly

The symposium was yesterday. It was great. Only one glitch--one of my panelists cancelled last minute due to a health emergency--but everything else proceeded smoothly. It was well attended, the speakers were excellent, people were engaged, etc. I was very pleased. Grandma Betty and my aunt Ann came; it was really fun to have them there and I was able to introduce them to some of my favorite professors and classmates.

Remember the Con Law professor who used to call on me all the time first year? Am not sure if I ever succeeded in convincing him that I have half a brain, and even if I did I was exposed yesterday as a total poser. I was leaning against a railing apparently listening intently to one of the speakers--as it happened, one of the best speakers I had scheduled for the day. Despite appearing to be completely absorbed in the talk, my brain was doing this: "Who has the cordless microphone right now ... How can I get those people to quiet down downstairs ... The Judge needs more water ... someone should refill that pitcher ... I should make that peanut tofu stir-fry this weekend ... I hope Laura got Prof. B returned to the airport on time ... Oh man, that fat guy is invading grandma's personal space ... " The Con Law prof--who also happens to be our Law Review advisor--sidled up next to me as I engaged in this mental listmaking/fretting. After about fifteen minutes, he turned to me and whispered: "What is he talking about right now?" Eff! Was this a test? I just looked at him and said, "I have no idea." He smiled and (condescendingly? possibly empathetically) patted me on the back.

After wrapping up the symposium stuff, I went to Ann's for a nice dinner with my grandparents and sweet little cousins. It felt great to be wrapped up in such a warm and welcoming place with family. I went home and felt like I could sleep for days.

A handful of my panelists are still in town so I'm sitting here at the coffeeshop with my phone next to me in case I need to respond to any emergencies. It should be a relaxing weekend, with most of the symposium stuff behind me. Going to a baby shower for sister Kate this afternoon. Tomorrow Shad and I are going to see The Decemberists at First Ave with a friend from work. Other than this, I plan to sit around and read. I'm still plodding my way through Zadie Smith's On Beauty. I'm reading two other books at the same time, so that might explain the slow progress, but I'm just not getting into it. It's not propelling me forward. But I'm a book-finisher and an optimist so I'll keep working through it and hope it gets better.

Chez Juice About to Get Very Chilly

Oh, crap. The gubernatorial race is really, really, really close. Sure, my vote didn't make that much of a difference...but what about the legions of Ugly Juice readers who voted for Hutchinson instead of Hatch based on my endorsement?

Recycled Couture Takes Minneapolis by Storm

We went to the Recyclaholics party last night and as usual good times were had. The Mess managed to keep her boobies tucked into her shirt this year and she even made a vest out of US Weeklies for extra reinforcement. jL looked like a fairy princess in her packaging materials dress.









The little circle thingys on this romper are made from old detergent jugs.



After the show, we decided to head over to Nye's to grab some drinks and dance (polka, of course) with miscellaneous men. Good times. Of course people stared at us like we were from Mars. We made up different stories about why we were dressed like freaks, and we received numerous compliments on our get-ups. I only saw one person I knew from school and I quickly covered my face with my hands, so hopefully did not recognize me.



Luckily, The Mess keeps a microphone in her car so we could sing along with the Pretty Woman soundtrack on our way to Nye's.

Ugly Juice Endorses Hutchinson for Governor

I will be voting for Peter Hutchinson on Tuesday. I've been struggling with this for some time because I don't want to take away votes from the DFL, but Hatch is wonkish, I'm not loving him, and I'm sick of feeling disappointed with the DFL candidates and two-party politicking. So I'm going to stop feeling apologetic about it and I'm going to cast my vote for the candidate whose views not only most closely align with my own, but also who is most likely to fulfill the purpose of a representative democracy.

If you have not done so already, I'd recommend using MPR's Select-a-Candidate tool. (Interestingly, MPR has tallied the numbers of people who have used this tool and their results, and 51% of users have been matched to Peter Hutchinson as their best choice for Governor.)

Craft Conspirators Come to the Rescue

Thanks to the efforts of my lady friends, my to-do lists have been turned into a bodice and my class notes folded into what will hopefully be a lovely pleated skirt. What great pals. I never would have finished this dress alone. It has a couple of hours work left in it, but I'll be done by Saturday night. jL made a marvelous fairy princess dress of packaging materials.



By the way, it is completely untrue that I did not allow my workers to have breaks. They got fifteen minutes every three hours.

Juice Raises Glass to Red Wine Report

The New York Times reported today that a recent study suggests red wine may offset the effects of a high calorie diet and may significantly extend life. This is fantastic news, no?