Patio Reupholstering Project More Complicated than Expected

First of all, who knew foam was so dang expensive? Sheesh. I went to MN Foam and Upholstery this morning and chatted up the owner, who told me everything I ever needed to know and more about upholstering outdoor furniture. I got four seat cushions, but he wouldn't give me foam for the big couch until I had an exact pattern for him. He said "eye-balling it" = danger. Harrumph. He obviously doesn't know how I operate. Anyhoo, he hated to see me come back, once he found out I had driven all the way from Minneapolis (the trip there actually takes only about 15 minutes), so he agreed to cut the pieces for the cushions I needed while I ran over to Harris Fabric Warehouse. I needed to pick up some more of the flower power fabric for the couch. I scavenged through piles and piles of the outdoor fabric, but I couldn't find it. I'll run back there this weekend and find some nice coordinating fabric. It would look weird if it was too matchy-matchy anyway, I think. I also have to get new wood for the seat bottoms, because the old ones are rotted out. I was hoping I could just get some at the upholstery store, but they don't sell them. The other complication is that it keeps raining, so I can't finish the painting of the metal furniture frames. Grrrr!

I met Julie & LA for lunch at St. Martin's Table at Riverside. They have delicious all organic soups, salads, and sandwiches. They have great vegetarian and vegan food. I had a yummy roasted red pepper and white bean sandwich and rhubarb crisp for dessert. The best thing about St. Martin's Table is that the servers are volunteers, and they donate the tips to charity.

When I dropped Julie off on the way home, she gave me some hostas and lily of the valley. I guess I'll go stick them in the backyard, then get started sewing some of the pillows for the couch.

The kitties are engaged in an intense wrestling match at the moment. Car gets The Wiz in a headlock, and then licks her all over.

Thrift Shopping Gods Smile on Bag-Maker

I just picked up 20 purse handles in various shapes made of wood and bamboo at Arc's Value Village, on sale for 15 cents apiece! Random, and FUN!

Superhero Alias Unveiled

I've been waiting years to make this announcement!

Our artistic super-genius friend, Gene Ha, has a new graphic novel coming out August 3rd, "The 49ers," written by Alan Moore. Gene uses photo reference for all of his characters, and he asked me to be the model for "Skywitch." I've modeled for him on several occasions over the last 3 years or so. The book is finally done! I won't pretend to know anything about the story, but from what I've been told, Skywitch fought the Nazis during WWII on her special broomstick and falls in love with a gay pilot ("Jetlad," modeled by Julie's husband, Zander). Also, I fight vampires. What more do you need to know?

TOP TEN: THE FORTY-NINERS

Written by Alan Moore; Art and Cover by Gene Ha

The Eisner Award-winning team that brought you TOP TEN — writer Alan Moore (WATCHMEN, THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN) and artist Gene Ha (TOP TEN) — reunites for an original hardcover graphic novel that delves into the past, revealing the origins of Neopolis and the first officers of Top Ten!

Neopolis is the city of the future, but it's also full of the roughest and toughest heroes and villains the world has ever known. You've met the cast of TOP TEN — Smax, King Peacock, Toybox, Joe Pi and more. Now meet their forebears, who blazed the trail and made Neopolis the city it is today!

Thanks, Gene, for the--er,--enhancements, in this last image. Also, the superhero to my right in this bottom photo is "Hercules," for whom Shad was the model. Hercules didn't really show up in the book, although he is pictured here on the cover.

Obviously, it's been difficult for me to hide my superhero-ness from you all over all these years, so it's somewhat of a relief to get this out in the open. Please, don't ask me to show off any of my special powers in public.

Click here for more info. The 49ers will be available in stores August 3.

Woman Smashes Plates all Morning Before Settling in for Long Night of Legal Research

I'm having a great day--woke up early (ahem! 9 a.m. Yeeee-aaahhh!) and went over to Julie's, where we spent several hours in her souped-up craft studio/basement smashing plates and sticking them into our respective mosaic projects. This is my first mosaic, and I think I'm going to be addicted. Smashing plates is so fun! She loaned me her cutting tool, so I will finish making pieces at home and finish it up at her house next week. I'm making a table for the patio.

After about a week of being unemployed and lounging around, I went to CL & asked for my old job back. They said I could start the next day. I jumped right in and it feels like I was never gone. I'm even training someone in tomorrow! I've been food-running for now but should be waiting tables when they get the next schedule made this week. Call me a big nerd, but I missed waiting tables. I think it's so fun, I love talking to everyone and checking out the new food, and I thrive off that energy and all the people. It feels great to be running around rather than just sitting on my butt for eight hours. I'm glad to be there for the summer & hopefully a day or two per week during next year. I will work probably just four days a week or so.

I have to spend the evening finishing up a memo about the standards and elements of legal malpractice in Iowa. I've stuck myself in the basement to help concentrate. It's crummy weather outside anyway.

Oh, and good news! My mother-in-law is hoping to come visit in August! She's never been to our place, as she lives in Germany, and before that, London. Should be great fun. I have already started planning meals and thrift store visits.

Research Assistant Prefers Silly Websites Over Westlaw

I know I have work to get done, but I was just checking my email, I swear. To obtain research articles I had mailed to myself. It's part of my job. Really. I don't know how I ended up here.

Crafter Accepts Mother-in-Law's Phone Book Challenge

About a month ago, you may recall that I was griping about the huge stack of phone books that was accumulating by our front door. Shad's mom brilliantly suggested that I make a purse out of them.

Ta-da!!!

Kudos to Julie for suggesting that I doodle on the phone book cover before cutting it up. I also thought the full-color Biffs ad on the back panel of the purse was a nice touch. Basically what I did is encased each section in vinyl, then sewed the squares of vinyl together. So it is (theoretically) waterproof, and very sturdy. I don't have the full backside photographed, but it's made of four different panels sewn together. It's fully lined and I plan to start using it immediately. (I do not, however, plan to make another one. Vinyl is a huge pain to work with.)

If only I could just sew a purse out of everything that bothered me. For example, I could sew a purse out of the clothes that get left laying on the floor. Or the neighbor kids' toys that float into our yard. Or the people who throw cigarette butts wherever they feel like it instead of the garbage. Oh, this gets creepy. I'll stick to phone books.

Amateur Gardener Just Hopes to Keep Flowers Alive All Summer

See, it's the first garden I've ever really planted, unless you count the teeny little ring around my light-post (into which I had to replant flowers four times last summer due to my general incompetence and inability to sustain plant life), or the one-square-foot plot in the back yard in which I attempt to grow basil. I know it's not much, but I'm kinda proud. Of course, I can only dream of achieving the fun quirkiness of Julie's gardens, or the level of (possibly manic) perfectionism attained by LA, but at least everything is still alive.

Ugly Juice Scores Great New Alley Find

I was chasing after a garage sale when my eye caught a rusted metal sofa frame discarded in an alley. It looked like it had once been used for a sunroom, or patio. There was a nasty moldy detachable cushion on it. It looked pretty hideous, but I saw potential. As I stood there staring at the thing, I knew I had to have it. I could fix it up and reupholster it like the other in-progress patio chairs. This would give me a complete patio set made entirely of alley/dumpster finds. Perfect! An elderly man happened to be walking by, so I enlisted his help to throw the metal frame in the back of the Subaru. Then I went straight to Minnesota Foam and Upholstery, but alas, they are closed on Fridays for the summer. I'll spend the day sanding the frame down and covering it with Rust-o-leum. I hope to get the complete patio set finished by next week. The final piece would be a little metal outdoor table...I'm still looking for that. I'll post photos when I'm done!

Oxi Lover Sheepishly Admits Has Been Misspelling Name of Favorite Product for Years

I went to the store today to load up on cat food and Oxy Clean. When I went to the appropriate aisle in the store, I noticed that Clorox had created a rip-off of the product. Next to the Clorox Oxy Rip-off was some product called "OXI Clean." Naturally, I was furious. How dare they profit off of Oxy's name and goodwill? I began to imagine the lawsuit, and cursed fate for not granting me a law degree just yet, otherwise I would have contacted Oxy Clean and suggested that we move forward with our multi-million dollar suit immediately. I was even more disgusted to discover that MY product, OXY clean, was not there. I was going to just leave the store, but I decided to pick up some of the rip-off OXI Clean to submit as evidence in my case.

I got home and immediately went down to the recycling to pick up the bucket of Oxy that I had just used up. I was mortified to discover that it was spelled OXI Clean all along! They had just redesigned their label so I didn't recognize it. The shame! I'm so pathetic!

More Shenanigans in Yard Lead Blogger to Suspect More than One Perpetrator Involved

We grilled turkey burgers the other night with Kevin. I left the buns on the grill and forgot about them, and they turned black. I thought we pitched them. However, I noticed that one burnt bun top is now perched on the windowsill on my back kitchen window. One burnt bun bottom was found this morning on the windowsill at the front of the house.

Why can't things just stay where they belong?

Aerial Photo Reveals Progress of Ongoing Patio Project

I spent most of the day digging in the mud. I planted the flower garden you see at the right--I'll post a close-up photo when I can.

Yes, that's a green human head leaning against the tree in the garden. It's made out of clay. It has red festering sores on the face as well. It turned up in our yard a few days ago, along with a severed human head with an exposed brain, a lenticular photo of Jesus Christ, and a bendy little rabbit toy. Shenanigans? (For more clues about the source of these mysterious objects, click here.)



Er, just so you know, the severed human head wasn't real.

Ugly Juice Lacks Social Etiquette When it Comes to Favorite Book

I realize that some people just don't want to read my favorite book, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. Why? I don't know. Basically, what I do is pick it up whenever I see it at thrift stores, etc., and then I loan it to someone and never see it again. I'm not even sure if I have my own copy. If I did, I would have succeeded in forcing it on Matt before he left last night. Alas, he weasled out the door without a copy and now has no choice but to read James Patterson and Tom Clancy during the late night hours at his job. That'll show him. So, tonight I had to run to the bank to make a deposit, and in an unfortunate incident of geography, it turns out that Wells Fargo is really close to Arc's Value Village. I bet I haven't even been there in two weeks. I was thrilled to see a hardcover copy of my book on sale for $1.69. I also picked up two smiley little ceramic caterpillars.

...anyone wanna borrow the book?

Mother-in-Law Brings Bliss to North Minneapolis Household by Sending Super Sweet Box of Goodies from Poland

When Shad sent me an email all eager to pick me up at 5 p.m., I didn't realize that he'd been waiting for me to open the box. Shad's parents just took a trip to Poland, and picked up all kinds of super treats for us! I got a beautiful jewelery box, a set of lovely handcrafted plates, a gorgeous and classy scarf, and some crafty stuff (I suspect mother-in-law has been doing some cleaning?) THANKS, Debi!

Unemployed Student Wears Holes in Patio from Sitting on it Too Much

Last night was super fun times with Geoff and Matt on the patio. We grilled pork chops, drank lots of alcohol, and stayed up late talking. Being unemployed is awesome. I've been sitting on my patio, reading books, working in the yard, etc. I love it. I haven't arranged a new job just yet. Bah.

I had lunch today with Phil. He took me and a handful of students from my school to Sawatdee (I had the Shrimp Pad Thai, as usual). They drilled him with questions about practicing immigration law, he gave advice about practicing law, etc. Afterward, I hung around school for awhile to finish some research I'm doing for my professor. Now I'm waiting for Shad to pick me up. Since I don't have a parking pass anymore, Shad has been shlepping me around everywhere. Is that a word? I've never tried to write it down before, but I sure like to say it. shlep. Schlepp? Hm. Anyhoo, I'm stopping at Julie's house on Thursday, and hope to leave with a bike she has promised to loan me. I am ready to park my car for the summer.

Barbeque in North Minneapolis Suburb Leads to Introspection About Obsessive Behavior

We had a fun time with Angela, Gretchen, Mindy, Matt, Dave, Natalie, and others at Krys's house last night. Krys was a super host, and had prepared a wonderful feast, including the always-delicious grilled corn and a tasty sangria.

For some reason, the topic of obsessions was broached, and we decided to play a game where each of us would write down our top ten obsessions, and then everyone else would try to guess what they were. I initially objected to the game on principle, because the term "obsession" seems so unhealthy. In addition, many of the obsessions discussed to that point seemed to be centered around material things, and I really don't think of myself as a great buyer or wanter of things. And, if so, I didn't think I could come up with ten of them. Once I began making the list, however, the items started to come easily. In fact, I ended up with 11 of them (number 11, "Clothing made of linen," was added at Shad's insistence during the guessing period). I still refuse to call them "obsessions," but here is my list of things I really, really like (in no particular order).

1. Books & reading
2. Food & cooking
3. Sewing
4. Email
5. Skirts, particularly knee-length and just-below-the-knee (in fact, the length is probably the part that I obsess about)
6. White pants
7. Fancy coffee drinks, (mainly one fancy coffee drink, the mocha latte, and its variations)
8. Quilts, quilting, and big colorful books featuring pictures of quilts
9. Making purses out of weird things
10. Wine
11. Clothing made out of linen

During events following the game, I was accused of having left out a few obsessions. For example, when a certain someone who will remain nameless spilled red wine on Angela's white pants, and I immediately called out for Oxy Clean, it was pointed out that this product is somewhat of an obsession. I also concede that my accumulation of new and vintage fabrics, embroidered handkerchiefs, and scarves is probably an obsession. And, OK, apostrophes. I should have listed apostrophes. But that's it. Really.

On our way home from Krys's house, we saw a huge fire in downtown Robbinsdale. Despite concerns that it would be civic-ly irresponsible to drive closer and gawk, we drove to a nearby parking lot and joined the mass of people staring at it. It really was amazing, and it felt oddly romantic as we stood there with our arms around each other watching the thing burn. It was a commercial building, and the firefighters weren't even fighting it. They were dousing the side of the house next to it with water as the building burned. We found that curious and learned from other onlookers that the fire was actually a training exercise for the local fire department, and that the building had been abandoned. That made the whole thing a little less exciting, though I was glad to know that our gawking and amusement was not at the expense of someone else's well-being. (Actually, this was also an interesting study on how rumors are spread. One person said, "It was an abortion clinic," a second person said, "They started the fire on purpose." Things were getting juicy! Then came the information that it was an abandoned building, possibly a clinic, no one really knew, and that it was being purposely destroyed). It was fascinating to watch the building burn and collapse. We kept wanting to walk away, but couldn't make ourselves do it. One might say we had become obsessed with watching the building's demise.

Advice From Birders Sought to Keep Cardinal in Backyard

Does anyone know anything about birds? We have a cardinal that's been showing up the last week or so, and I'd like to keep it around. It's stealing worms out of the big pile of dirt that was pulled out of the ground when we put in the patio. If you have any tips for making my backyard cardinal-friendly, let me know!

Ugly Juice Proposes Solution for Growers of Fertile Mint Plants

First of all, you do not get any pity from Ugly Juice, you super mint-producing garden-wizards who complain of overabundance! I love to make rum mojitos, and this is a super easy recipe. Here goes:

1 part Sugar
1 part Fresh Lime Juice (usually on the top shelf in the juice aisle at the store, next to the lemon juice. DO NOT make juice from concentrate, get the real stuff, it's generally sold in 16-oz bottles.)
3 parts Water
A good handful of fresh mint leaves.

Throw the above in a blender real quick to mix it and break up the mint. This is The Mix.

To make the mojito, use 1 part Bacardi Limon to 3 parts Mix. Garnish with some sprigs of mint. Keep toothpicks nearby. (Some also make this with Bacardi Orange, or with tequila.)

Unemployed Law Student Spends Sunny Afternoon Reading Books on Patio with Iced Mocha

Shad and I went on a little party binge last night to get my mind off the job situation. I met up with him and about 15 artist/design types at Psycho Suzi's at about 9:30. From there a bunch of us drove up to Mady's on Central to bowl a few rounds, then to Nye's Piano Bar, where we proceeded to take over the bar singing and dancing like crazies. Actually, I think we were quite good...but my memory may be affected by the liquor...? After we shut Nye's down, we went to Dave and Jenski's to drink the National Drink of Iceland, after which we drank the National Drink of Belgium, by which time some in our group were falling asleep with beers in their hands (choosing not to partake in the National Drinks) and it was pretty well into the early morning hours, so we headed home.

This morning, Geoff called to rouse me out of bed at 11:30, and took me out to lunch at Bonfire Grill on Grand Avenue, where he proceeded to tell me what a good and justified decision I had made, etc. Geoff is a good pal and advisor, and I've sure missed hanging out with him and Matt. We were an inseparable triumvirate this year. A super fun night of acting crazy, followed by Geoff's kind words, were just what I needed and now I feel super swell sitting on my patio with my laptop (with bugs crawling across it) and a good book, drinking an iced mocha under the shade of a big ol' oak tree.

I have a few plants on my patio now, thanks to LA. She gave me a mutant hosta that had been terrorizing her in its own way for the past several weeks. She threw it in a pot, and now it's sitting in that pot on my patio. She also gave me two other pots of unknown flowers, which are, shockingly, still alive. She is scoring some rhubarb for us from one of her neighbors tomorrow, so it looks like I'll spend the day with her and in my yard.

Angela is in town, so we are going to a BBQ tonight where we will see her and some other friends. I've been looking forward to it.

In Strange Turn of Events and Apparent Act of Career Suicide, Ugly Juice Quits Job Effective Immediately

I've been trying not to blog about this situation, because I've always loved my job. I've been there for 2-1/2 years, and we're like a close-knit family. But basically, I have been miserable since I returned to full-time this summer. The receptionist quit, so they moved me up to the reception desk, hired a new legal assistant to take my office, and now I've been answering phones and opening files and making copies. In addition, I was trying to do all of the work I did before. It turns out that writing an eighth circuit brief while answering phones, greeting incoming traffic, hearing conversations filter out of every office and conference room, and overseeing the kids playing with blocks in the lobby is a tough job and leads to excruciating headaches. I thought this might be a great new challenge--was my big chance to show them what a great worker I am, hone my multi-tasking abilities, etc. But no, I was just miserable, day after day. I foresaw an unhappy summer followed by what is going to be a really difficult year next year, leading to burnout and a future slobbering on myself in the corner of an asylum. (Ironic, that my desire to help asylum-seekers would lead to my own institutionalization in an asylum?)

Anyhoo, I consulted three friends whom I trust and admire, and they all told me to quit. Including my dear husband. No, Ugly Juice is not too proud to wait tables for the summer. Days in the sun!

I had been discussing the situation with my boss for the past few weeks. I wasn't sulking, but they all knew how unhappy I was. I had also asked for a raise. Well, two of the partners, including my boss, called me into an office to discuss it. They told me they couldn't give me a raise. They basically told me I needed to suck it up and pay my dues, that the position of a law clerk is not like other positions, that they had to do crappy jobs when they were law clerks, etc. They thought I was being a baby. So I told them I was too unhappy to stay in that position, and that I didn't want to quit, but if there was no other solution, I had to. I told them how much I love them and the office, but I was just too unhappy with the situation to stay. They told me I always did outstanding work, but they couldn't give me what I needed, and they just wished I would tough it out for 10 more weeks. They asked me to take some time to think about it. I said I've already thought about it a lot, and I've made my decision. Greg and I talked privately in his office afterward, and he told me today could be my last day. I told him I was really sad. He said he was sad, too. Le divorce.

It's a small office, and we're all so tight-knit, which is why this was so hard. They unfortunately feel a little insulted that I was so unhappy in their work environment. I don't know what I can do about that, they shouldn't take it personally. They've always treated me well, and I know they have a business to run. I was happy when I was doing the job I was hired to do. But even though I loved everyone in that office, I still felt miserable being a law clerk/receptionist. I felt like I was just stagnating. If I have to do mind-numbing work, I'd rather wait tables, where I can work less and make more money. This is one of the hardest things I've had to do, but I couldn't spend my summer being unhappy. Next year is going to be tough, and my free time is too precious.

They did assure me they would give me a great recommendation to future potential employers.

Ugh. I hate today. I have cried so much. I even cried while eating. I developed a rash on my face from being so upset. But I think tomorrow, I will sleep in, walk to the park, and read a book.

Ugly Juice Endorses Franken for Senate

Have you all read Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them? If not, I suggest you drop what you are doing right now, and run to your local library and pick up a copy. Yes, run! Minneapolis Public Libraries have 19 copies available. It is just so great and gut-splittingly funny. I remember now the joy I felt when I read his book, Why Not Me? The Inside Story of the Making and Unmaking of the Franken Presidency. Incidently, this sharply contrasts with the complete lack of joy I felt recently reading the book, The Devil's Highway, which was the true story of 26 Mexican immigrants who tried to enter the U.S. through the portion of the Arizona desert known as "The Devil's Highway." Their coyote/guide became lost and disoriented and they wandered around for days in over 100-degree heat without water--most of them died, some were eventually found and saved. Though it was a fascinating story, the book was so poorly written, I wondered if the author intended to make the reader feel the desolation and agony that must have been felt by those poor walkers in the desert. I wanted to just close the book and throw up, but then I felt like I was abandoning the migrants, myself. So I suffered through the whole thing. It wasn't even a very long book. I'm so glad it's over. I also just read Atonement, recommended by Summra and Sarah. I guess I liked it, but I thought the ending was kind of hokey. (Not what happened, but how the story was told). But yeah, I liked it. I'd say more, but I don't want to ruin it for anyone else who might pick it up.

Back to the Franken endorsement. I'm not sure if he has OFFICIALLY announced that he's running for Senate in 2008, but he's talking about it. And he's looking at property in Minnesota, and Air America might relocate to Minnesota. That's so peachy for us. I think Franken is an honest and good person, and I think as a politician, because he is independently famous and has gained a reputation as a stickler for accuracy, could be immune to some of the b.s. and fact-spinning that plagues Washington politics. He's astute and articulate and tuned in. Maybe Ugly Juice will send him an official certificate of endorsement?

Anyhoo, I am enjoying the book so much, I am going to stop blogging now, and get back to reading it.

Ugly Juice Spends Spontaneous Saturday with Momma and Sisters

It was a fun day. While I was garage saling, I got a call from my mom and sisters--they were going to be in Minneapolis for the day. They live three hours away, and were driving through the Twin Cities on the way to Chicago and Lansing, Michigan to look at colleges for my super-genius sister Sarah (University of Chicago and Michigan State). Sarah really is a renaissance child, she got all the smart and creative genes in the family. She's going to be a Senior in high school this year. She's a super creative artist genius, awesome musician (piano and guitar), class valedictorian, star volleyball player, just aced her ACTs, etc. The endless outpouring of talent is truly vomit-inducing. Anyhoo, since her ACT results came back, she's been getting letters from all these fancy schools. It will be fun to see where she ends up.

So I spent the day with my momma, Sarah, Greta, and Mary. We went to the Spot On comics show at the center for book arts. Shad was presenting on a panel when we arrived, and BTA had a table there, so we just stuck around for awhile to check out the show and say hi to him. Then we went to IKEA. I bagged two swell end tables from the scratch n' dent section for $10 each. One has no problems on it that I can see, the other I plan to mosaic on. I also got some matchstick blinds for the bedroom and mirrors with wide frames to mosaic on ($2 apiece!).

We went to downtown St. Paul and did some people-watching at Rice Park. They're celebrating Sommerfest, and there was a ball at Landmark Center. Lots of the ball attendees were dressed in period costume. There was a band playing in the park, too. At 7 p.m., we went to "Kilimanjaro" at the IMAX theater in the Science Museum. And now I want to go to Africa and climb that mountain/volcano. That is a beautiful movie, I recommend seeing it.

The movie reminded me of what was pretty much my only mountain-climbing experience, which, it would be an understatement to say, pales in comparison. When I was going to school in London in 1998, some friends and I took a bus up to the Isle of Skye for a week or so. It was so beautiful. We hitchhiked to the southern end of the isle, where there was a little hostel next to the Cullins. We called them the Cullin Mountains, but I think they are actually hills (or, at the risk of sounding too technical, I think they were actually monroes.) Anyhoo, we thought we were pretty bad-ass, and we were going to climb these mountains. We duct-taped our ankles and packed a whole bunch of food and water. After about half a day of climbing, we thought we were super high up, because we were surrounded in fog (okay, duh. It's SCOTLAND. Of course we were surrounded in fog.) We had reached a sharp rocky incline, it jutted straight up, and there was nothing we could do without equipment. Also, we couldn't see how far up it went because of the fog, so we were sure we were just, you know, 20 feet or so below the summit of this huge mountain. We took tons of pictures. We were pretty sure we were the only people ever to conquer this rocky peak. We ate celebratory Snickers bars, etc. Finally, we started to make our way back down. After we had walked for an hour or two, we looked back. By this time, we were almost back to the hostel. When we looked back and saw the spot where we had taken all the pictures, it turned out to be not even one-tenth of the way up! We were so pathetic! We nearly died laughing. We went back and changed, then hitchhiked to the northern end of the island (Portree) and spent the rest of the day at a pub. Drinking, now THAT was something we could do, and we did it well.

Super Score on Tin Tin Books Raises Ethical Questions

The neighborhood garage sales in St. Louis Park were not so great. There was one super sweet score, though, that made it all worth it. I found two hardcover Tin Tin books for 20 cents each! YES! TWENTY CENTS! I snatched them up right quick and went to pay before they changed their minds.

As I was paying the kid, he asked if I was a reader of Tin Tin, and I told him no, but my husband collects them. His dad was standing right there and I thought "Oh no! He's going to find out this is a valuable collector's item and revoke the offer! Quick! Take the money!" The funny thing was, his other hardcover books were 50 cents each. Did he hate Tin Tin? I gave him the money and walked away real fast.

Later, I felt guilty for getting such a great deal. Did I have a duty to tell him what he could fetch for these books on ebay? ...but hey, that's the nature of a garage sale, right? One person's junk is another's treasure?

Brooklyn Park Home of Many Fine Attractions

I decided I needed to make a trip up to S.R. Harris Fabric Warehouse in Brooklyn Park after work tonight. It was a last-minute decision, but you wouldn't know it if you saw me there. I was a woman on a mission. Many missions. My cart was piled so high with fabric that five people asked me if I worked there. I picked up some fabric for the quilt block I'm making for Craft Conspiracy, fabric for a baby quilt for one of the attorneys in my office, a huge bolt of silk (on sale for $3/yd!) for a curtain upstairs separating Big Time Attic from my sewing area (and thereby giving BTA a harem-like feel), and some fabric to reupholster the patio chairs. The best part is that all the fabric was 65% off this week.

Do you all know of the wondrous S.R. Harris Fabric Warehouse? It is one of my very favorite places in the Twin Cities. They have tons and tons and tons of fabric. One time I spent five hours there. And the fabric is 50% off all the time. Pure joy.

Also in the fair city of Brooklyn Park, I pulled into the parking lot of Minnesota Foam and Upholstery, but they were closed. On my way out of the parking lot, I passed the best little strip mall ever, featuring the following establishments: (1) Goodwill; (2) Carousel Bingo; and (3) Kaplan Uniforms (home of sweet jumpsuits among other things--BTA has purchased jumpsuits there and have taken to wearing them at conventions, book signings, and, sometimes, around the house).

So...I'm going to do some sewing! See ya later!

Brothers Take Fashion and Art to the Streets

Got a text message from Tim. He and his brother are having a fashion show on the street at 24th and Lyndale at 5 p.m. today. Don't ask why. Just go.

Crafty Chicks Conspire to Dominate World with Funky Handmade Goods

Anyone want to join The International Craft Conspiracy? We're a funky new craftin' group. We meet on the first Thursday of every month to eat yummy food, drink, chat, and make stuff. If you're not in MN, you can still be a contributing member of our blog--just go to the site & leave your email as a comment or something & we'll send you an invite. Or leave your email address here and I'll invite you.

Ugly Juice Poised to Tackle Neighborhood Garage Sales Saturday

Here's where I plan to be on Saturday a.m.! And then I'm going to go here. I need to load up on mosaic stuff and submit myself to the tutelage of Julie!

Jerky Study Buddies Get Theirs

Now, I'm not one to be vindictive, but I do have to mention that Geoff & Matt were totally out of line after the Crim Law Exam. And they got what they had coming to them.

As I've mentioned, the cardinal rule is to NEVER talk about your answer on an exam. It's too late to do anything about it and it just makes you doubt yourself, etc. G & M are well aware of my policy on this. Well, G was so sure he had found the hidden ball in the Crim Exam, he couldn't keep quiet. He begged us to talk. Finally, we consented. We listened politely and complimented him on his answer (which really was brilliant, I'll admit). Then, M told us what he got. Again, we listened politely and approved. Finally, they talked me into telling them MY answer, after which they proceeded to rip apart my analysis, tell me how wrong I was on every point, etc. They got so worked up arguing with each other about how wrong my answer was, they lambasted me for about ten minutes. I didn't argue with them, I just sat there and listened. Finally, I asked, "Are you guys done?" and they stopped.

It was seriously cruel.

We-ll. We got our crim law grades back.

I KICKED BUTT!
(They, um, didn't).

BAH-HHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(I would rather not mention that they smoked me in every other subject. Smarty-pantses.)

Study Proves Taco Salads Promote Marital Bliss

Shad has been making dinner for me lately. Tonight: Taco Salads. Last night: Taco Salads. What can I say? He makes a mean taco salad, and we're both crazy about 'em. There have been weeks where the taco salad is eaten every night. Hey, why not?

We're hanging out at Mill City Cafe in NE tonight. I needed to get a bunch of work done for my Research Assistant gig. It's hard to bring myself to do it, and I've put it off for a week. My plan was to go to the library, but the thought of going back there made me gag. There's Wi-Fi here, so I can do my research on Westlaw and just email the stuff to myself to print later. I'm researching cases that impose freedom of speech duties on private property owners. Fascinating. Not really. I'd rather read comics. But I guess I am getting paid to surf the internet in a coffee shop, so it can't be all bad.

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to court to watch the decision on the asylum case I had blogged about a few months ago, the man from Guinea. It's a big day for him, he's waited sooooo long. We tried to get the government attorney to stipulate this week, but he refused, and said he's going to ask for a continuance to do some more investigation. I'd like to say I think we're going to win tomorrow, but I don't want to jinx the case. Is that too superstitious?

Locals Agree Life is Better When Julie not in School

Another gift from Jooliedoolie awaited me on the kitchen table when I came home from work today--a lovely t-shirt she had printed on the Gocco, and a little note: "not heat-set yet, no power at my house." We had a big storm last night, and our whole neighborhood lost power. I imagine her furiously printing t-shirts by candle-light, a true craft vigilante. The shirt is so cool, I decided to wear it with the tie-skirt on top of the in-progress patio (currently undergoing a process of covering with black dirt to settle into the cracks).

If Frida is Julie's homegirl, hell, she's my homegirl, too.

Hungry Woman Delightfully Surpised to Encounter Julie's Leftover Salad in Refrigerator

Julie sent some pasta salad over with Zander today. She makes such delicious food. When she posts recipes on her site, jot 'em down, baby. I'm waiting for her to post her yummy broccoli salad with peanut sauce. Mmmmmm.

After work today, I went to my professor's house for book group. We are discussing God's Politics, by Jim Wallis. The secret is, I didn't do the reading (I only made it through the introduction), so I felt kinda nervous being in the home of the very con law prof who called on me all the time in class this year. Alas, no Socratic method here. We'll be talking about the book over three different sessions, so I'll have some time to catch up. Has anyone read it?

Sugar Addict Confesses Weakness for Coffee Kool-Aid

Phil takes it upon himself to monitor the eating habits of people in the office. He also monitors our use of sunblock and watches for signs of skin cancer, checks on our blood pressure, discourages cell phone use (brain cancer-causer), and, of course, prosecutes for mismatched accessories and/or outfits that are "shart of the mark." He is particularly concerned about my sugar intake. I confess, I like to use exorbitant amounts of sugar in my coffee and I do love to eat sweets. However, I usually try to limit myself to three packets or spoonfuls per cup. But if there is an open sugar container around, I've been known to steal a quick glance over my shoulder to see if anyone is watching, and if I'm in the clear, I dump. Coffee kool-aid. Mmmmm.

Anyhoo, Phil offered to pick up a cup of coffee for me today. I didn't insist on getting the fancy coffee, and settled instead for the small cup of regular joe. I ordered three sugar packets and cream, to which he responded only with raised eyebrows. When he returned with the coffee, I could tell that he put skim milk in instead of cream. Stinker.

Wicked Awesome Patio Finds Home in Minneapolis Couple's Backyard

With help from John, Bryan, Toby, Kate, and Greta, we put a wicked cool flagstone patio in the backyard. It looks soooo great! We are currently working on setting black dirt in the cracks, a continuing process of sweeping the dirt in the cracks, watering it down, and letting it settle. We'll do this for the next few days, which means the patio will continue to be covered in mud. Once the black dirt gets settled in, we'll clean it down and start to cultivate moss in the cracks. Shad found a recipe for a "moss milkshake"--a blended concoction of yogurt or buttermilk and moss--that gets painted in the cracks. There is such a great feeling that comes from working hard to improve your home. I get an adrenaline rush. I love it.

Also, Toby got started on refinishing those chairs I picked up for free on Craig's List a few months ago. He cleaned and sanded them down, then coated them with a Rust-oleum primer thingy. They look brand new! We'll put a coat of black over the primer, then I've gotta work on reupholstering them. They're going to look like a million bucks.

Pals Conspire to Dominate the World with Craft

I've been at an asylum conference the last two days, sponsored by MN Advocates for Human Rights. Aside from great speakers from UNHCR and other agencies, there were great sessions on litigation strategies and other practice pointers. With the passage of the REAL ID Act on May 11, there have been some big changes in asylum standards for immigration judges and expanded jurisdiction for the federal courts, and we're not sure how it will all play out. I have an 8th Circuit brief to write next week for an asylum case, and am a little bit nervous about tackling some of these issues for the first time. In particular, the act opened a new avenue of relief for the guy, which we did preserve in the record below, so I need to come up with a real bang-up argument. It's just kind of a weighty thing to be tackling it for the first time.

Well, I suppose all this is boring to read about. Let's talk about crafts.

Last night was the first ever meeting of The International Craft Conspiracy. The meeting took place at my house. A dozen or so crafty pals came over, everyone brought tasty food, we drank tasty beverages and made stuff. I can't tell you our subversive plans to overtake the world with craft, of course, but soon we will have a blog and start posting crafty stuff, and of course Ugly Juice will provide a link. Also the Conspiracy's public interest arm is making baby quilts to donate to Project Linus, who will distribute them to ill and traumatized children. We'll post photos of the quilts, too. Last night we made glass marble magnets. My magnets, featuring photos of the faces and ribcages of emaciated sailors (a truly inspired creation I call "The Scurvy Series") turned out like crap. Which is really sad, considering the project requires about a 3-year-old skill level. I think it's because they are black and white. So if you make them at home, do something in color first.

Brother John will be showing up any minute and we're going to get started on the patio. It's threatening rain outside, I hope it blows over during the night. We want to get everything set up tonight and go to town on it tomorrow.