Pirates Ride the Stormy Minnetonka Seas

A bunch of us went pontooning, swimming, drinking, etc. etc. etc. on Lake Minnetonka this afternoon to celebrate Dave's birthday. We thought it would be hilarious to wear pirate hats and eye patches and plunder neighboring vessels. Or at least just nicely ask them to share their booze with us.



Things didn't really turn out that way. Things are so much cleaner in the concepting stage. Plus we had plenty of booze and plundering seemed like a lot of work.

Last night we ate at 112 Eatery. I've been hearing great things about this place forever; I can't believe it took us so long to try it out. Everything was perfect and delicious, one of the best meals we've had in a long time. My favorite was the steak tartare. And they have a fabulous and rich tres leches. Oh man, I am getting hungry again just thinking about it.

Friday night we headed down to a BBQ in South Minneapolis. The hosts had set up a movie screen in their backyard and at nightfall we watched One Crazy Summer and chowed on popcorn. Outdoor movies are the best. Great fun.

I'm about to go offline for a few days. I'm leaving Tuesday morning to visit my family, babysit The Adorable One, watch my sister Mary's volleyball game, and celebrate my Grandma's 80th birthday.

Here's a little video to help remind you that the future is bright. Have a great week!

Minneapolis Woman Named "Laziest Person In World"

I don't know how I am going to re-adjust to working life in October. I can't even bring myself to complete the two little items on today's to-do list. The only things I can think about doing--maybe--are brewing another pot of coffee (before 2 p.m.), mixing another cocktail (2-6 p.m.), or pouring another glass of wine (after 6 p.m.). Right now my only purpose in life is to (1) feed joLynn's cat; (2) make dinner; and (3) read as many books as I can. Sure, I could clean the Sky Lounge. I could put handles on the wardrobe that Shad so sweetly assembled for me whilst I sipped cocktails and sat on my ass. I could even throw in a load of laundry. But (yawn) why?

No, I'm exaggerating. I did complete a task today. This morning when I was reading on the patio, I noticed that damn city inspector drive slowly down the alley past my house. Then, he backed up, stopped next to my garage for a few moments, and drove off. I called Shad to see what he thought we could possibly be doing wrong this time. Haven't we already paid fines for the retaining wall issue/lack of ground cover/ grass over 8-inches high/ buckets??? He suggested that maybe we had trees growing on the alley side of our garage again. We got a warning about that last year. I sauntered over to inspect. Yessirreee, we are cultivating a nice little forest on that slab of concrete between the garage and the alley. How does that happen? Why is this slab of concrete so fertile whilst my garden is such a sorry mess? Urg. I was grumpy about it all during my afternoon walk and I decided to return to the house via alley, where I noted that at least half the people on our block have trees or high weeds growing beside their garages. Groan. I pulled out our tree-trimming shears and went to town on the concrete-slab-forest. I didn't finish it though. Some of those trees have gotten big. Like, I might need to borrow our neighbor's chainsaw. Anyway, that's enough work for one day. In fact, I might need a nap.

Two of Juice's Favorite Peeps Get Married

Many congrats to my dear friend Angela and her husband Edward, who were married on August 11 and are now honeymooning in Thailand.















Caught up in the festivities, Ang and I decided to perform our Vanilla Ice Chair Dance. We have not practiced much since we invented the dance our freshman year of college, and if the truth must be told, we remembered approximately .05% of the choreography and our performance was a dismal failure. But we had plenty of spirit.



I love the face Angela makes when she laughs. How can you not love this face?

Isla Mujeres Photos Posted

We could step out the back door of our place on Isla Mujeres and walk straight out to the ocean. This is the view from our place, looking south.



Night swimming in front of our place.



Our favorite place to eat: Baseball Tacos. It was this wacky little taco stand that was located under the bleachers of a baseball field. It was outside the main town center and in kind of sketchy part of the island, but had the best tacos ever, as evidenced by all the locals streaming through the place.



The men loved Sarah wherever we went. At this particular place, some dude sent mariachis over to play for her two or three separate times.



Some members of the Mayan family we stayed with in Merida.



Our sleeping quarters at Tia Coty's house.



They brought us to this little coastal town outside of Merida. We walked along the beach and bought elote and other tasty street foods from the vendors.



The family told us Chichen Itza is too crowded and since the pyramid has been declared a national monument you can't climb on it anymore. They took us to another site called Mayapan, and as they predicted, the place was deserted and super awesome.





We're Mayan warriors, get it?



Climbing down is always the hardest part.



Little lunch shack in a village.



Our transportation into the jungle.





There were cenotes (sea caves) deep in the jungle. They were incredible.





That blue blur is me diving. It was so scary and thrilling. I'm sure that, ah, all of the five-year-olds who jumped in after me thought so too.





On Isla, there is a sanctuary where they hatch sea turtles, help them grow, and eventually release them into the wild. The itty bitty baby turtles were so adorable.



Summ has these artisic visions, you see (see Anna with Dogs, below). This is one of them. She also goaded an entire family into laying down on the dock above the turtles--including a mom who had a baby strapped to her--in order to compose one particular photographic vision. It was so hard for me not to die laughing.





I may have had a lot to drink this night, but I'm not the one who snapped the blurry photo. For some reason these dogs decided to befriend me. This was the Night of the Necklaces.



I spent a lot of time reading.

Law Students Beat Shit Out Of Spidey

It all started out innocently enough. Just a bunch of friends enjoying sopa de lima and celebrating Summ's birthday...



But then, things turned sinister...






And downright deadly.

No Longer Able To Convince Self That Face-Plants and Other Hopeless Acts of Klutziness Build Character, Minneapolis Woman Considers Charm School

Women who enjoy wearing wide-legged cuffed pants, as I do from time to time, find themselves in a dangerous predicament when they decide to pair said pants with heels. The problem, of course, is that sometimes the heel catches in the cuff of those lovely, willowy-legged linen pants whilst the fashion victim attempts to take a graceful step away from her former boss after giving him a quick good-bye hug following a lunch date. I am thankful--I mean, our hypothetical victim is thankful--that I (she) managed to catch my(her)self on the glass window of the Barnes & Noble rather than grabbing at the sleeve of former boss's jacket to avoid the fall/further embarassment.

Yesterday jL and I saw 1776 at the Guthrie. It was a fun show to watch, sillier than I expected. Ate at Cue again. Cue sucked again. I'm done going there. It was a fun weekend, I feel like we just bopped around from place to place to place. Wedding on Saturday, Burlesque show, drinks with friends, etc. It will feel nice to spend a night at home lounging around and reading. I have a bunch of fresh tomatoes that I would like to turn into a nice chunky soup. Does anyone have a good recipe?

Local Couple Still Happily Married After Assembling Several Pieces of IKEA Furniture

We went on an IKEA binge on Sunday. I am almost embarrassed to say that we were in the store for FOUR HOURS. It was insane. I am outfitting one of our bedroom walls with a new closet system, which is sooooo fantastic. I got three of the tallest, widest wardrobe cabinets, and am installing four hanging rods, several drawers, etc. I had gotten accustomed to my throw-everything-in-a-huge-pile-overflowing-the-laundry-basket system but I must say that it is heavenly to have a place to store my clothes that does not involve heaving forty pounds of miscellaneous outfits just to dig out, say, a tank top that is hiding beneath them. I feel like an archaeologist as I excavate this pile, uncovering my Law Prom dress, a particular sweater I remember wearing in January, etc. (No passport, though. I checked that two weeks ago.)

As for today's headline, experts say that the following are the top issues that put a strain on marriage: finances, communication issues, infidelity, lack of commitment to the marriage, different priorities (kids, job, etc.) and sexual problems. I respectfully submit that "Assembling IKEA Furniture" ought to be added to the list. I hate assembling the IKEA furniture. Hate it hate it hate it hate it. I get really short-fused and flip out and curse like a sailor when I can't find the damn screwdriver or if a dowel goes rolling off into parts unknown or if I can't figure out the picture-instructions. Happily, Shad is patient with my crankiness and assembly yesterday mostly went off without a hitch. Things got a little tense halfway through the second cabinet when I *allegedly* failed to hold the thing at precisely ninety degrees when we were moving it and I *allegedly* moved too fast and *allegedly* ripped some pieces out due to my inability to move the thing in a cooperative fashion. But we moved past the issue without any hard feelings and within minutes had begun construction of the third wardrobe. In full disclosure, the arrival of my brother-in-law (Cory, who is staying with us for a couple of weeks) helped with my temperament as I basically handed the screwdriver and instruction sheet over to him when he walked in the door and he and Shad spent the next several hours slaving away whilst I occupied myself with less annoying projects. Like laundry.

I am excited to try making Sopa de Lima tomorrow, which I was introduced to while staying with that Mayan family in Merida. It was soooo delicious and I ordered it several times while in Mexico. Tomorrow is the test run, and--because I figure if I go down, I may as well fall hard--I have invited 15-20 people over to share it. Wish me luck!

Minneapolis Homeowners Find New Hiding Place for Key

Apparently, while Shad and I were enjoying a lovely dinner at Blackbird with a few friends this evening, Summ, jL, Mike, & Jason (and possibly others I have not yet found out about) decided to let themselves into my home, help themselves to all of my wine, and have a little party on my patio.

Who does that?

I do feel a little bit violated, but I guess I feel mostly amused and pleased (given my basically socialist ideals) that I could share my resources with the patio-less and booze-less. My family generally has an open-door policy with regard to dropper-inners, and in the past this has resulted in shenanigans that have led me to, well, keep my key's hiding place top secret. For example, a few years ago, brother John let himself into Kate & Bryan's home in Maple Grove and took a shit in their toilet and didn't flush, knowing they would be out of town for a week. Not to be outdone, Bryan bagged up the shit and Fed Exed it to John as soon as they returned.

Don't get any ideas. I am finding a new hiding spot for that key. And you won't find out about it unless I need you to feed my cat. Which stinks, because the key has only been in its current location for about five weeks; I had hoped it would have a longer tenure.

Juice Submits Additional Evidence to Those Engaged in Nature v. Nurture Debate

I was the lucky recipient of a visit from Kate and The Adorable Niece this evening! Hooray! I am happy to report that The Adorable Niece is as beautiful and perfect as ever.





Unfortunately, The Adorable Niece is showing some potentially unhealthy proclivities toward the consumption of vino, not unlike her dear auntie and mommy. Genetics--she can't help herself. Kate and I sat at the table for hours, chatting and drinking wine. The Adorable Niece received plenty of attention, and also had her blankie and a table full of toys and stuffed animals. Was she interested in those, though? No....

Hey mom, nothing personal, but I'm getting kinda sick of that stuff you've been feeding me. I'll take some of what you're having.



So I just guzzle it, right? Just like this?



Wait a minute. Nothing is coming out of this stinkin' bottle. Oh, I see...



Yesssss... You're drinking out of these here glasses. I gotta get me one of those.



Rats! Just my luck, the only glass within my reach is empty. Well maybe I can salvage that last drop at the bottom?



Auntie, I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Minneapolis Woman Acquires Excessive Ornamentation Under the Influence of Mind-Altering Tasty Beverages

When I awoke this morning, my eyeballs commenced a lazy survey of the room, eventually landing on what appeared to be a new and exotic collection of jewelry--not exactly indicative of my style, quite frankly--resting on top of the bureau. It turns out that after a few drinks, I become very, very good at bargaining with street vendors. Or so, um, it seems at the time. If the fruits of last night´s post-margarita(s) shopping spree are any indication, my accessories this fall will be tending toward the "Very Tribal." (*In my defense, waking up to a pile of wacky necklaces still ranks far below, say, waking up in a zoo and/or not being able to find your panties.*)

We went snorkeling yesterday along the reef at Garrafon, and it was amazing. I have never snorkeled before. It was so easy and super fun. The only problem is I have a tendency to react audibly to beautiful underwater sights, which results in stinging saltwater up my nose. We got some lounge chairs and drank margaritas and read books when we were not in the water. Today we are going to the North Beach, which is really popular and is probably going to be crowded, but it is a beautiful sandy beach with cerulean waters and, hopefully, cabana boys.

Hola From Isla Mujeres

Buenos dias amigos!

This morning I turned my mobile phone on for the first time since Wednesday night, and the phone kept beeping--indicators of several new text messages. The messages were cryptic, "Everything ok?" I started to have a difficult time breathing after the fourth such message. Then I scrolled up to a text from Shad which confirmed that he was okay and mentioned the bridge collapse. I caught a cab downtown and found an internet cafe to read the news. Wow. I can´t even imagine what the atmosphere in the Twin Cities must be like right now. Reading the news here in Isla, I feel a little bit weepy. I was relieved to read that the death toll is lower than initially predicted, though how terrifying and sad for the survivors and other Twin Citians.

I have been having the most amazing time ever here in Isla Mujeres. Everything is more perfect than perfect. We have a house right on the Carribean, and it is in a less populated part of the island and we have our own private piece of the coastline. It is secluded, beautiful, and absolutely amazing. I slept outside the first night and will continue to do so as often as possible until we leave.

On Wednesday we took a bus to Merida, where we were hosted by Gio´s family. Gio is the boyfriend of Summ´s good friend Gianne. His family was so generous and just wonderful. We stayed in their home and they cooked delicious meals and took us all over the place.

Yesterday was one of the best days ever. After spending the night in hammocks (traditional in the Yucatan) we had a delicious breakfast prepared by Tia Coty (Gio´s aunt). After breakfast, other members of the family met us and drove us to Mayapan--Mayan ruins. Gio´s family is Mayan; they speak Mayan and Spanish at home. They drove us through all of these amazing little villages (pueblas?) and we ended up in this tiny village where we had lunch in a little shack and then rode into the jungle for an hour on a cart that was pulled by a horse along a narrow rail track. According to Tia Coty, the trail has existed for over 300 years; it was used to extract from the jungle a type of fiber (I forget what it is called) that was a major source of wealth for the Yucatan. Now people use the trail to get to the sonotas (may be misspelling), these incredible underground sea caves where we could go swimming and diving. It is only one track, so when we encountered someone heading in the opposite direction, one of the cars would have to unload and get off the track.

Swimming in the sea caves was one of the most amazing things I have ever done. These particular caves were pretty far off the beaten path, so there was hardly anyone there. There were a few people when we arrived but they left and we had the place to ourselves. We crept down slippery rickety stairs to reach the water, which was deep blue and of course completely surrounded by the cave, save for a hole near the top where the light shone in. There were stalagtites and creepy vine things and bats flying around. The water was absolutely clear and perfect for swimming. There was a platform from which you could jump into the water, Sarah estimated it to be about six meters high, which may not seem very high to you, gentle reader, but please trust me on this. It was absolutely terrifying to dive into the cave from this platform. It was so vertiginously, breathtakingly, pants-pissingly high, and you don´t really know where the bottom of the water is, you just know it is incredibly deep, and worse than the fear of diving so far you won´t come back is the fear that you will dive right into the wide open mouth of a creepy sea cave monster or crack your head open on a stalagmite. One of the most thrilling things I have ever done. I did it twice.

Well, my plan was to sit around all day and read a book (or books?). We get some great shade on the back patio (the side that faces the sea) in the afternoon and evening so perhaps I will pick up some sundries (am in particular need of some good coffee to mix with my kahlua in the morning), find some tasty tacos, and head back there. Poor Geoff had a bout of food poisoning yesterday but it looks like he is rallying. Other than that, we are all great.

Hasta Luego!