Sporto Sisters Join Softball League

For reasons I cannot explain, I have joined my firm's softball team. I do not even recall the last time I actually played softball (8th grade?) but I do remember that I quit, in part because I am basically afraid of the ball. So I probably do not need to tell you that I am a pathetic softball player. Last week I had to play catcher, which is terrifying, obviously, because I am convinced that the bat is going to grow 20 inches while the batter is swinging and it will take off my head. And I also know I am destined to take a softball in the teeth. In addition, it turns out that I am not only a terrible softball player, but I am also a terrible person. I know this because on Thursday when I failed to properly field a ground ball, I shouted "F***!", which should not have mattered because I was all by myself out there in left field, or so I thought, until I turned to run after the ball and saw a mother with her two kids cutting across the outfield. I have sullied the souls of these two innocent children by spitting out the F-bomb in their presence. Shit.

Strangely, several people from my firm are on another softball team within the league, and somehow my sister Greta ended up on that team. Given the number of teams (hundreds?) this is the strangest coincidence. Stranger still is that we should join the league at all, since Greta and I are the most unathletic members of our family (actually, Greta holds our high school's record for shot-put, but I don't think she was in any other varsity sports, and I quit all sports in 10th grade, having determined I prefer speech and drama to sitting on the bench every single game because I am such a pitiful athlete).

The judge I am externing for offered me his season tickets for last night's Twins game against the Red Sox. I invited Greta to join me since we are total Sportos now. We had so much fun. We got the biggest hot dogs and smothered them with so many condiments we had to eat with knife and fork. After the game we hopped on the light rail to catch up with Mikey & crew--they were doing a light rail bar crawl to celebrate Mikey's birthday.