Minneapolis Woman Finally Uses Up Last of Those Damn Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Address Labels

I do appreciate address labels. Very useful. But these. THESE! These labels are so embarrassing that when I use them, I hide my mail below all of the other envelopes in the outgoing mailbox so that no one can see. I imagine the folks at Comcast snickering as they rip open the envelope, judging me. These labels: The American Flag in the shape of hearts. Ew. Worse, they say Mr. & Mrs. Shad P****. Who am I, nothing? Just a "Mrs."? I am the one who wrote the check for twenty bucks, people.

I am in much better spirits today. It turns out that I was just spazzing unnecessarily again. I wish I could avoid doing that. This morning I received a nice little e-mail from the attorney complimenting my work. I am going to print it out and rub it against my cheek the next time I start getting bent out of shape. After the Tax exam we headed to the bar. Now, I was not drunk when I showed up for my 5:00 class, but I had just thrown back a couple mugs of beer with Mikey and Jason. For whatever reason, class discussion arose concerning attorneys who show up to court drunk. This sucked, obviously, because I wanted to talk to the prof after class, and now I was feeling particularly irresponsible and shamed. I began frantically chewing on breath strips.

The real drama of the week is that I have an enormous zit taking root on my chin, and we have graduate photos on Wednesday. I can feel this thing growing from a half inch below the surface. It is going to be huge. I am going to look like a freak in this picture. What am I, 15? Ugh.