Area Couple Seeks Adult Nanny

I think Shad and I need someone to take care of us for awhile. For starters, Shad has been really sick all week, apparently coughing up a lung. I do not know exactly what he has (whooping cough? tuberculosis? Black Death?) but neither of us have been sleeping well because he has been hacking all night long.

I, on the other hand, have apparently turned into a bipolar mess this semester. I have spoken to a few of my law school friends and learned that other soon-to-be graduates are suffering from this affliction, which makes me feel somewhat better, but still. Sure I have stress, but not too much, not enough to make me so unstable. One moment I'm super happy (as I should be, I'm a super lucky duck!) and the next moment I inexplicably sink into the deepest of doldrums and just feel bad about everything. Recycling is piling up...genocide in Darfur...the way my pants fit...the smell in the refrigerator...the fact that the Christmas wreath is still on the front door...war in Iraq...my dead and/or dying plants... (not to minimize humanitarian crises, I just get sad about everything everything everything...it spirals).

The last time I sunk hard, a few weeks ago, Shad took me out for fried food & fruity cocktails and diagnosed me as (1) stressed (sure, okay); (2) feeling weird about life change (being done with school finally, bar exam, starting new job, etc.); (3) guilty about extra-marital affair with Geoff (a complete non-occurrence, obv; but a few weeks previously there was a series of events that, while innocuous, I now realize were highly suspicious to the independent observer a/k/a spouse. I thought the accusation was hilarious but I guess Shad didn't and I later discovered that I had been subject to surveillance (even more hilarious) that cleared me of all charges. When called out on this, spouse sheepishly admits the spying was not so much due to suspicion as it was from watching too much of The Wire); and (4) grumpy about our messy house (um, you all saw the pictures of our table). Usually Shad can snap me out of the dumpy-dumps, but that does not stop them from coming. I try to suffer low moods gracefully (for the first few minutes) but then I get frustrated when I can't talk myself out of being depressed and that makes me even more depressed.

Well today I was happy as usual but then I got all sad when I came home. Ugh, how annoying. I walked in the door and saw a letter from the firm where I'll be working in the fall; it detailed my soon-to-be benefits (medical, etc.) and I got all weepy when I read it. WTF? (It makes some degree of sense, medical expenses are probably my biggest anxiety, but still.) So I called Shad to warn him that I was having another crybaby episode and he told me to come down to the studio immediately. When I got there I discovered that the PUNY folks had been apprised of my condition and sweetly inquired as to my mood. Tim suggested that if I pop the giant zit on my lip (because I am also suffering from adult acne) I would be better. I am not a zit-popper--never have been, I am in the habit of just waiting it out--but I took Tim's advice and I must say it was quite satisfying. Then Shad took me out for a lovely dinner at Loring Pasta Bar.

So anyway, that is the situation here at Chez Malaise. We need a nanny fairy to make soup and hot tea while Shad hacks up that lung and I stop crying about nothing. Any takers?