Instead of Turning Incredibly Serendipitous Moment into Hilarious Shenanigan, Juice Chokes Like Total Dimwit

Tonight I was at an event at a restaurant downtown when I got a call from my good pal Jason, also known as The Kubb Hustler from the South Side (pictured here in all his (our) glory if you scroll down past whining rant). I stepped outside to take the call. I wandered down the street while we were talking, but it was hard to hear, so I stepped inside LaSalle Plaza.

When I looked down the hall in front of me, I saw my good pal Jason, which was disorienting, because HOLY SHIT I was also talking to him on the phone. Neither of us had any idea that we were both downtown, and he certainly had no idea that I was watching him talk to me.

Here's where the story could have taken a hilarious turn, you see. I could have said, "Let me guess...you decided to grab a drink at Rock Bottom before the Ween concert tonight?" "You're not wearing that horrifying flowered cowboy shirt today, are you?" "When is the last time you had a haircut?" or any number of things to mess with his head and indicate that Big Brother is watching. To my credit, I did look around to try to find a column that I might hide behind so that I might attempt to pull off these shenanigans. But I didn't pull it off. I choked. I was so amused to run into him so serendipitously that I just froze right there on the threshold of glory. I seriously hate myself sometimes.

In other news, there was a five gallon bucket on the side of the road as I was exiting the highway to drive into my neighborhood tonight. It was perilously close to YOUR house, Julie!!!! Honestly, it gave me the creeps. Lock your doors tonight, everybody.