Bag-Maker Suspects "Towel Purse" Short of the Mark

I made the towel purse. It's kind of funky, but I'm not sure if I love it. I'd post a photo, but actually Shad does all of my photo-posting because I'm incompetent at crap like that, and as we know he is out of town at the moment playing laser tag. I also made a little zipper-pouch to match (had some towel left over), which is probably neater than the purse.

I think I will bring the purse to work on Monday and see what Phil says about it. You see, Phil frequently prosecutes me for wearing clothes and/or accessories that are, as he puts it "short of the mark." (Except, with his Missouri accent, it sounds like "Shart of the mark.") {Quick update--Phil is the senior partner in the office, he's the guy who pulled me out of the coffee shop and hired me. Greg is my boss.} I am taken to task on a daily basis if my accessories don't match, or if I appear to be wearing new shoes--I am also frequently charged with consuming too much sugar (what can I say?) and ordering "expensive" coffee (he has on two occasions called my parents to report that I am depleting his retirement fund through my insistence on ordering the "Mocha-laka-frappachino-latte" instead of regular coffee). Usually these matters are settled without a trial. Greg is retained as permanent counsel to represent me in these matters. However, occasionally, the matters lead to prolonged litigation. There was, for example, the chocolate cake incident, in which I brought a homemade chocolate cake to the office, which Misti said was the best ever, and which Phil made some comment about it not being very good. Greg and I sued for defamation and sought punitive damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress. We eventually settled (after approximatlely 7 months of negotiation) for $5 cash, a Starbucks gift card, and a formal apology. There was also "The Great Bag-Bag Trial" which occurred last summer. I had made a nifty little purse for myself made fully of recycled shopping bags folded into squares and sewn together--it is a lovely purse, I still have it but don't use it very often. Phil said it was "shart of the mark." Greg was at court, so I had to proceed pro se. Negotiations continued all morning and culminated in a trial lasting the entire lunch period. Phil, of course was the prosecutor, I was the defendant, Rachel acted as judge, and Teri served as expert witness for both sides. After passionate closing arguments on both sides, we turned to the table next to us to decide the case. As it turned out, they were designers, and ruled in favor of the defendant. Phil was sanctioned for his frivolous prosecution and was forced to carry the Bag-Bag over his shoulder all the way back to the office.