Snowbound Woman Resorts to Desperate Measures

After being snowed in for some 32 hours, the woman began to feel crazed and hungry. She stumbled down the stairs and considered the contents of her enormous freezer. And there she saw it, winking at her from behind the stacks and stacks of single-serving chili. It was the box of frozen enchiladas purchased at Cub Foods two years ago for the suspicious price of two dollars. It is your turn, little enchiladas, she said aloud (for she had begun talking to household objects in the sixteenth hour of the storm and there was no reason to stop now). She willed herself not to look at the ingredients list and popped the container in the microwave for twenty minutes.



It must be said that the results were a bit disappointing but not unexpectedly so.



As she spooned out the gooey mass, a reasonable voice (could it be her digestive system?) spoke too her from within (ah, yes, it must be), urging her to turn back. Steam some soybeans, perhaps? Or even heat up some of that leftover mock duck curry. Is that real cheese? Is that...meat? Really, check out the label, please. Please, Ugly Juice, as an act of self-love or simply to prevent the inevitable consequences... But then, another, louder, voice (the belly itself?) said RAAARRRRRR!!!! CHEESY ENCHILADAS!!!!!!

She listened to that voice, of course. She recklessly spooned the enchiladas onto a plate and brought it back to her work station at the dining room table. The contents of her briefcase had--in an act of desperation and in apparent attempt to avoid sharing company with the mysterious warm gooey blob that was masquerading as "food"--scattered themselves across the table. See? There is no room for that plate. Please, please, throw it away.



Again, the woman ignored the voice of reason, as her hunger had made her lightheaded and dazed. She pushed aside the mounds of paper and made room for her feast. To add insult to injury, she spilled a drop of tomatoey substance on a nearby pile of papers.

The enchiladas were actually kind of tasty, in the way that marshmallow peeps are super yummy if you can handle eating them without asking any too many questions. Not exceedingly delicious, of course. Or even vaguely delicious, really. But... uh... oh, geeze...