Minneapolis Woman's Stomach Unimpressed by Dinner

You know how sometimes meals can haunt you?

I like when the meal haunts in a good way (e.g. that fried tofu salad smothered in warm peanut sauce at that Malaysian restaurant on Winnetka Ave--I had it three years ago and still think about it), but sometimes it's a sad "why have you forsaken me?" kind of haunt, with occasional noisy temper tantrums. I am suffering the latter this evening due to my pathetic insistence upon creating a meal out of the meager contents of the fridge.

Since we're nearing exam time, I probably don't even need to tell you the grocery-shopping fairy has forsaken my household. So when I opened the fridge tonight (hoping for what, I don't know) I found the usual suspects: plain nonfat yogurt (sell-by date: April 6) (left over from March's yogurt-&-granola-for-breakfast kick), several different kinds of shredded/crumbled cheese, wide selection of beer and condiments, spinach (sell-by date: April 15), apples, half-eaten package of pepperoni, peanut butter, eggs (sell-by date: April 10). In the freezer: freezer-burned bag of chopped vegetables. In the cupboard: Rice noodles and water chestnuts.

I won't get into the details.

It was the worst meal I've had in my whole life.

I wish I could fall asleep, but my stomach won't shut up. It was NOT amused by my shenanigans.

Why, why, why didn't I just go downstairs to my big immaculate freezer and pull out one of those nifty containers of tasty chili that I froze earlier this year in anticipation of this very situation?