Juice Kills Time During Class

Had nice lunch today with The Mess, who looked smashing in a Mary-Kay-Lady-Meets-1950s-Pinup-Model outfit. We watched Eliot Spitzer talk at my school, which was a great event.

Uber thanks to those of you who have purchased raffle tickets so far!

It is impossible for me to concentrate during my Tuesday evening class (International Human Rights). I prefer to just read the material on my own. I go to class anyway and surf the net while the instructor talks. It's a good time to catch up on blogs. A big favorite lately is Design Sponge. It's a good one to peek at during class, because I can just look at the pretty pictures & don't have to read.

We're dragging into hour 2 of class. Ugggggg... My buddy just turned to me to ask if I wanted to have a "stink-off." This is a game where we both take off our shoes & the first to crack due to the smell loses. I usually lose, so decided to pass.


Thanks to the Daily Kos, here's a sneak peek at some of the jokes in Al Franken's newest book The Truth (with Jokes), which was released today:

Iraq: They told us that when we invaded, we'd be greeted with sweets and flowers. They left out the crucial modifier: "exploding."

Gay marriage: George W. Bush wants to amend our Constitution to make it illegal for gays to marry. But evidently, he has no problem with terrorists getting married. America can't afford a president who is soft on terrorist marriage. Because unlike gays, terrorists can breed.

Bill Frist diagnosing Terri Schiavo from 800 miles away: The FristCam Act of 2005 would place a video camera in every one of America's Intensive Care Units. The FristCams would pan the ICUs, and the Senate Majority Leader would give each patient a thumbs-up or a thumbs-down.

Bush's 9/11 bait and switch: Bin Laden must have been furious. Here he had gone to all this trouble to murder thousands of Americans, and Saddam---Saddam, the infidel!---was getting all the credit! Who was the head of al Qaeda?! Who was funding al Qaeda?! Somewhere along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border there was a very angry terrorist mastermind.

Moral values: From what I understand, if you cut out all the passages in the Bible where Jesus talks about the poor, about helping out the least among us, you'd have the perfect container to smuggle Rush Limbaugh's drugs in.

The Social Security "crisis": The number Bush kept using, $11 trillion, represented the total shortfall from now until the year Infinity. If you think about it, $11 trillion over Infinity years is nothing. Over the first 11 trillion years, that's just one dollar a year. Easy. After that, it's over. You're done. What, exactly, is the problem?